Royal Rumble (2017) was a professional wrestling pay-per-view (PPV) event and WWE Network event produced by WWE for the Raw and SmackDown brands. It took place on January 29, 2017, at the Alamodome in San Antonio, Texas. This was the 30th event under the Royal Rumble chronology. The event was also the second Royal Rumble to be held in the Alamodome, after 1997, and the fourth to be held in the state of Texas (1989, 1997, and 2007).
Preshow - Becky Lynch, Nikki Bella, and Naomi def. SmackDown! Women's Champion Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, and Natalya
This was over a bit too fast for my taste. Mickie James' impact nor presence here was non-existent as even her entrance was cut out - at least on my Network feed. So much for showing respect to a returning veteran. Geez.
I will say that I love that Naomi got the pin here over the champion Alexa Bliss so that maybe, just MAYBE that Naomi can get the push and possibly the title run that has eluded her for so long. Look I know that people aren't really behind Naomi, but look at it this way. There's time to put the title on her and see how people react to it and still switch it over to someone else before 'Mania. Either way, they have to quit chopping her legs out from underneath her every time that she gets a bit of momentum going. First it was back when she having those amazing matches with Paige when she was Divas Champion, only to have that program axed the second AJ Lee made her last run with the company. After that, they forced Naomi to turn heel - a move you can easily tell that she wasn't comfortable in at that stage of her career, especially when she was just getting support from the fans the unofficial third member of the Usos- only to have any momentum her and Tamina Snuka were garnering on their own derailed by the start of that so-called Divas Revolution. Not to mention, the injuries she's had here and there that slowed her down even more. So don't give me that shit that Naomi doesn't deserve a chance. Much like a Bliss herself, give Naomi a shot and let's see how it goes.
From here though, I see them going with a first ever Women's Elimination Chamber Match for the SmackDown! Women's title next month since they have exactly 6 women feuding right now. This would be rather easy to pull off with the stories they have set up between all of these ladies.
Preshow- Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson def. RAW Tag Team Champions Cesaro and Sheamus (c) to become the NEW RAW Tag Team Champions
Some pretty good spots here, including Cesaro busting out a damn 619 and Sheamus accidentally taking out the referee with the Brogue Kick. Despite the fact that Gallows and Anderson won, I still feel like the damage was already done to these guys. To say that it took this damn long for them to win and the fact that they won on a damn preshow match, it's not doing much - if anything - for the former Bullet Club members. Oh how the mighty have fallen when at the start of 2016 Gallows and Anderson walked into Wrestle Kingdom 10 as tag team champions, only to lose the gold that same night, go to WWE a few months later, and just flounder in the midcard in boring and lackluster matches throughout 2016. Those guys should have came into WWE and laid waste to everyone in the tag team division - including the New Day, but nope, WWE damaged their RAW tag team division beyond repair at the cost of having New Day break Demolition's record. Say what you will about Nikki Bella breaking AJ Lee's Divas Championship record, but at least that division got better after she broke it.
Preshow - Nia Jax def. Sasha Banks
About a few seconds into this match, I had to pause to bust out laughing at how comically bad this was. I don't know if Sasha was upset going into this match or the fact that it was on the preshow or what, but damn she looked out of her element here tonight. She wasn't even wearing her trademark shades, stopped to do her entrance mannerisms, or anything. Nope, she just walked down there and took the beating of her main roster career to date. The best spot here had to be Nia busting out that Stretch Muffler submission that Brock Lesnar himself used to use back in his early days (roughly 2003-2004 if memory serves...).
Then this just ended out from nowhere with that pop-up Samoan Drop spot and Sasha was defeated as easily as the droves of indy women who have been serving as jobbers in Nia's wake. Who in the front office did she piss off to deserve this? I was rolling watching this assault. If Nia can get some ring gear that's more flattering to her figure and ditch the cheesy pop entrance music, then we might have a monster that we can all get behind in the RAW women's division. About damn time that this division started focusing on more than just Sasha and Charlotte anyway...
Charlotte def. Bayley to retain RAW Women's Championship
There really wasn't much to write home about this one. We've seen them fight each other on RAW plenty of times over the last few months in singles AND tag team matches. There wasn't much new here outside of a few new creative spots. Bayley looked like a grade A moron going out onto the ring apron before taking forever and a day to do that springboard out of the corner. I was shaking my head at that spot the entire time. The finish with the Natural Selection on the ring apron was a very nice touch, but damn, did Charlotte HAVE to beat Bayley clean?
WWE pretty much shot themselves in the foot on that one. Charlotte has nowhere to go next unless Paige surprises everyone with a return tomorrow night and there's no way in hell that Asuka is getting called up before WrestleMania. They could do Nia vs. Charlotte but what sense does a heel vs heel feud would make? You can do them, but it's generally NEVER good. I would feel sorry for WWE here, but they only have themselves to blame when they have 3 hours of TV time with RAW every week, but only manage to push 2 women for the last few months, yet SmackDown! has 2 but manages to involve ALL of their women in something on every show since the Draft split.
No Disqualification Match (w/ Chris Jericho suspended above the ring within Shark Cage) for WWE Universal Championship - Kevin Owens (c) def. Roman Reigns to retain after assist from Braun Strowman
After how many times Owens and Reigns have fought each other in RAW main events since the roster split, they had to throw in a stipulation to spice this up - not that it did anything for me personally anyway.
After Owens piled up all of those chairs into a pyramid, I was literally saying that whoever took the bump into that was a grade A moron. Low and behold, Fatass Owens was the one to do it. Despite all of Owens and Jericho's shenanigans, Reigns endured it all and was about to win until Braun Strowman of all people came out and laid waste to Reigns for Owens could retain. To say that people complained about Samoa Joe's main event push in TNA back in 2006-2007, this run for Owens is just as bad. Owens can't do anything on his own and has to rely on Jericho or outside interference to retain the title. Sure, you could make the argument that he's a chicken shit heel, but what about his gimmick as a prizefighter? The only thing that Owens is fighting with record breaking wins are those MANY plates of food he's clearly putting back. One look at Owens and you can tell he's not missing any meals.
Neville def. Rich Swann (c) to become NEW WWE Cruiserweight Champion
The sleeper hit of the night, even though I admit that I didn't have high hopes for this going into it. I love that Neville is saving face of not going for any aerial maneuvers with his full blown heel persona. Nothing irks me more in mainstream wrestling with heels going for high flying spots for pops like they are babyfaces. It kills the heel/face dynamic and just confuses casuals on who you're supposed to be cheering or booing.
From here, I hope that Neville lives up to his "King of the Cruiserweights" moniker as he shouldn't lose to anyone on the current 205 Live roster until they built up someone who will be able to kill it with him in front of a WrestleMania crowd in Orlando. I'm thinking Tozawa or Metallik, but I seriously doubt that WWE will give those guys the ball to run with. I guess we'll see over the coming months.
John Cena def. AJ Styles (c) to become the NEW WWE Champion and makes history by tying Ric Flair's record at 16 championships
John Cena is referred to as Big Match John and he definitely lived up that namesake here. Him and AJ Styles killed it - that was the best match out of anything from both the main roster AND NXT this weekend. When they were starting out with the multiple kick-outs and reversals, I honestly wasn't feeling it at all as Styles and Cena NEVER fall for each others' moves within the first few minutes. C'mon we've seen them do this in at least 3+ high profile matches last year, so it's hard to keep falling for this shit, but by the end where they were busting out moves we've never seen from both of them, that's when I was caught up into the moment.
My only issue here is that after that verbal burial that Cena gave Styles on SmackDown! last week was justified by how Cena handily thrashed Styles at the end of this match. That ending series was completely unnecessary and was just throwing salt into the open wound to solidify Cena's statements of Styles being beneath him in WWE's eyes. The only way I can see Styles bouncing back from this is that they have a rematch as an Ironman Match at WrestleMania. That's the only thing they haven't done at this point.
To the people upset, mad, and butthurt that Cena is tied with Ric Flair's 16 title reigns... get the fuck over it. Cena's going to get that 17th reign too. After matches like this, how can anyone continue to say that the guy sucks? I may not like him personally, but I respect the hell out of what Cena does in that ring and for the business.
AJ Styles isn't no slouch either and he's got plenty of mileage left in his WWE career. I have no doubt that he'll bounce back from this better than ever in defeat.
Randy Orton wins the 2017 Royal Rumble Match
I'm going to be honest here... Overall, this wasn't a "great" Rumble Match at all, given all of the hype behind it going in. BUT... there were some fun moments scattered throughout.
I thoroughly enjoyed Enzo hyping up Big Cass in a promo for the first few minutes of the match, but they could have had Enzo cutting promos throughout Cass' entire run in the match, much like CM Punk did during his Straight-Edge Society days where he was trying to recruit members to his cause between eliminations in the Rumble match that year. I loved how they built up Braun Strowman as the new resident monster to watch in this match by throwing every obstacle in his way - first with Big Cass and Mojo Rawley who were thrown out like they were trash bags on garbage day, then followed up with promptly disposing of the retiring Mark Henry and Big Show in a convincing manner, and even holding his own against the combined efforts of Sami Zayn and Tye Dillinger. What I didn't like about this was how they let Baron Corbin be the one to eliminate Strowman. If they are going with Strowman vs. Corbin at WrestleMania in a battle of their "pet projects" for both brands, then count me out. I could care less about Corbin feuding with Strowman. Hell, if you read this blog enough and read my wrestling tweets, you should know I don't give a flying fuck about Corbin PERIOD.
My favorite part of the Rumble, even though it was fucking predictable that even WWE wouldn't fuck this up was Tye Dillinger at the #10 spot in the Rumble and managed to last more longer than 10 seconds. Goddammit, I marked so hard for that dude last night. No matter what, WWE can't take that moment from him despite whatever bullshit they will try to throw his way from here on out. That was totally worth it.
Gallagher getting thrown out during his Mary Poppins' spot was just as hilarious as Enzo Amore getting trashed by Brock Lesnar towards the end of this thing. I couldn't have cared less about Kofi's survival tactic this year as that honestly looked like it hurt him more than anything instead of looking cool. Speaking of Lesnar, let's talk about how lame it was that the Rumble just dragged on after Strowman was eliminated to like NONE of the major players coming out into the Rumble until the late 20s. No way in hell even the most casual of fans could buy into that not being rigged. As a result, the last bit of the Rumble suffered because of this as everyone was waiting on one of the big three (Taker, Brock, or Goldberg) to come out or a surprise entrant and got disappointed.
To say that Lesnar came in, cleaned house, and ended up getting eliminated by Goldberg making him his bitch AGAIN, I have no doubt in my mind that they are saving Brock v. Goldberg III for WrestleMania. They aren't fooling me with The Undertaker taking out Goldberg. That was just more of WWE burying the memories of WCW with their booking symbolism. Say what they want, but they are STILL bitter about the Monday Night Wars.
While we're on the topic of Goldberg... If it was up to me, I would have fired Goldberg right after this show or send him straight back to the Performance Center for that array of piss poor Spears. When Nikki F'N Bella hits a better Spear than you, then your Spears fucking SUCK. God, I'm SOOO over Goldberg's comeback tour after tonight. Let's just get the third encounter between him and Brock and move on...
Did The Undertaker have any notice on being called in for this show? He looked like he was in worse shape here than he was before Survivor Series a few months ago. As much respect I have for the guy for everything that he's done in his career, he needs to really consider if it's worth coming out embarrassing himself looking like he just walked out of the senior citizens' retirement home.
My exact words when Roman Reigns came out at #30 were "I CANNOT BELIEVE WWE ARE THIS FUCKING STUPID..." I was glad that he didn't win, but that was a little too close for comfort. Can someone tell Vince to quit force-feeding Reigns down our throats? He's not a bad wrestler, it's just he's another victim suffering to poor booking and creative decisions from the think tank of chimps in charge of WWE.
I really hope we're not getting another dreadful Cena vs. Orton feud at WrestleMania, but Cena has to survive Elimination Chamber in two weeks, so there's a chance that either Bray Wyatt will get the gold or AJ Styles will reclaim what he has lost. If Styles is back in the mix, I hope they go for an Ironman Match at WrestleMania between him and Cena. If it's Bray's time (it's LONG overdue after being derailed at every turn...), then I hope they pull the swerve and reveal that Orton was playing him all along to lead to the climax of the Wyatt Family/Orton feud where he was manipulating them all along.
