REVIEW -- Assassin's Creed III

With the highly anticipated Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag right around the corner, I finally decided to bite the bullet and give this entry a fair shot after finishing up most of the DLC for Assassin's Creed II since it was on sale during this summer when that game was free as part of Games For Xbox Live Gold.

I managed to pick up the game on sale for a mere $10 and happened to finish in a span of two weeekends, which is rather fast for me for this series. Want to know what I thought of this heavily hyped entry of this franchise? Read on to find out.

The Plot (FULL Spoilers):

Desmond, William, Rebecca, and Shaun find the Temple in a cave in New York and access it using their Apple of Eden. After partially activating the temple, Juno uses it to communicate with Desmond. Desmond is placed in the Animus where Juno's influence causes him to experience the life of his ancestor in 1754 England; the Templar Grand Master, Haytham Kenway.

Haytham assassinates a patron at the Royal Opera House and steals a medallion; the Key to the Temple's inner chamber. Haytham is dispatched to the American Colonies to locate the Temple. While in Boston, he kills a slave trader, freeing a group of Mohawks including a woman named Kaniehti:io. She helps Haytham find the Temple in exchange for him killing General Braddock. Haytham and Kaniehti:io find that the Key is not able to open the temple itself. The pair develop a romantic relationship during their time together. The perspective then shifts to Ratonhnhaké:ton's childhood in 1760. His mother dies during an attack on his village led by the Templar Charles Lee. Years later, the village Elder informs a teenage Ratonhnhaké:ton that their tribe's duty is to prevent the Temple's discovery. The Elder gives him a transparent Sphere which allows Juno to communicate with him; she tells him of his importance and shows him the Assassins' symbol. The symbol leads him to the retired Assassin Achilles Davenport, who reluctantly begins training him as an assassin.

Achilles suggests Ratonhnhaké:ton rename himself "Connor" to enable him to move more freely throughout the Colonies. While seeking supplies in Boston, Connor is framed by the Templars for instigating the Boston Massacre. Over the following years, Connor kills several Templars, and aids in the Revolutionary War between the Patriots and the British. Connor meets with his father, and the two forge a temporary alliance to eliminate a rogue Templar. Later, Haytham uncovers a letter detailing George Washington's plan to remove the Indigenous population, including Connor's tribe, from the frontier to prevent them supporting the Loyalists. Connor returns to his village and learns that Lee has recruited several Mohawk warriors to turn back the Patriots sent to eradicate them. Connor neutralizes the warriors to avoid conflict, but his childhood friend Kanen'tó:kon cannot be reasoned with and Connor is forced to kill him.

Meanwhile, Desmond is occasionally roused from the Animus to retrieve power cells from Manhattan and Brazil, necessary for activating the Temple, before the Templar Daniel Cross can take them. William goes after the final cell himself, but is captured by the Templars' modern day front, Abstergo. Desmond assaults the facility, kills Cross and Warren Vidic, and rescues his father.

"Yes, Connor... I am your Templar bastard of a father."

Connor becomes conflicted about eliminating the Templars, and hopes to work with Haytham towards a common vision of peace and freedom. However, Haytham remains convinced of the chaos of freedom and the necessity to control the nation by replacing Washington with Lee. Lee is disgraced by Washington for attempting to sabotage the outcome of a battle and takes refuge in the heavily fortified Fort George. Connor infiltrates the fort and is confronted by Haytham; they duel, and Connor kills him. Connor later kills Lee and recovers the Key. With the Colonial Templars eliminated, Connor returns to his village only to find it empty, and the Sphere left behind. Using it, Juno instructs him to conceal the Key where it cannot be found; Connor buries the Key in the grave of Achilles' son, Connor Davenport.

In 2012, Desmond retrieves the Key and accesses the Temple's inner chambers. Juno informs him that activating the pedestal will save the world, but at the cost of his life. Minerva appears before them, opposing the plan as it will free Juno, who was sealed away in the temple to prevent her conquering humanity. Juno and Minerva explain that if the solar flare occurs, Desmond will be one of the few survivors in a post-apocalyptic world. After Desmond's later death, he will become revered as a god, whose well-intended legacy will be manipulated to control future generations, restarting the cycle. Desmond chooses to save humanity and give them the opportunity to fight Juno rather than be destroyed. William, Shaun and Rebecca leave the temple as Desmond activates the pedestal; a global aurora protects the planet from the solar eruption. Juno commends Desmond's choice and declares that it is time for her part to begin.

In the epilogue, Connor witnesses the last of the British ships leave New York and a trader selling slaves, a reminder that his fight for freedom is not over. Connor then returns to his village only to discover that the Mohawks have gone west after the newly formed Congress sold the land to settle war debts since, he is told, bringing in taxes so soon after a war fought to remove them would only serve to portray the newly formed US government as a continuation of its predecessor.

Following this, a modern-day voice-over can be heard directing the listener to locate a number of 'pivot points' that have been spread out across the memories' graphical representation of the Colonial America. Once collected, the voice-over returns to congratulate, and informs that they have now connected to the cloud.

Gameplay: 

Assassin's Creed III is a third-person action-adventure title set in an open world in which the player uses a combination of stealth, parkour, and combat to complete various missions. The player takes the role of three characters during the course of the game. The main character is Desmond Miles, a 21st-century Assassin, working to uncover the secrets of a mysterious Precursor Vault that purportedly will protect the Earth from an upcoming solar flare on December 21, 2012. To uncover the secrets, Desmond uses the Animus to live out memories of two of his ancestors which the player controls during these sequences, both set at the time of the American Revolutionary War. The first, briefly played at the start of the game, is Haytham Kenway, a British Templar that seeks the location of the Vault. The second, and the primary character for the game, is Ratonhnhaké:ton, the son of Kenway and his Native American wife. Ratonhnhaké:ton takes on the name Connor to blend in better with colonial society. When playing as Connor, the player has access to a huge wilderness known as the Frontier (which is 1.5 times bigger than Rome in Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood), the cities of Boston and New York. Portions of the Eastern Seaboard and Caribbean Sea can be explored via the flagship of the Assassin's navy, the Aquila, captained by Connor himself, with Robert Faulkner his first-mate advising and teaching him in the ways of the sea.

Free running has been simplified to allow for more fluid parkour in the cities and wilderness, such as climbing and running on trees, mountains, cliffs, etc. Close combat has been modified, allowing Connor to dual-wield weapons and take down multiple opponents at once and players no longer need to manage the lock-on mechanic. Aiding this, Connor has access to a wide range of weapons which include muskets, pistols, native weapons such as the tomahawk and bow and arrow, a rope dart (used to pull foes or hang them, while on a tree) as well as the hidden blades. Human shields can be used against firing lines of enemies. Medicine is no longer used as health recovers automatically. Stealth is also revamped, allowing players to use natural elements such as tall grass and trees to hide, along with the ability to blend between any two people.

Assassin's Creed III features new weather simulations such as snow, fog, and rain. The seasons can also change i.e., Summer and Winter, which not only effect visuals but also gameplay, as the player will find running slower in deep snow. Snowfall can reduce visibility for the player and enemies, aiding stealth. Unlike the past games, this one includes animals varying from domestic (horses, cows, dogs) to wild (deer, wolves, bears). The wild ones are found in the Frontier, and can be hunted for meat or marrow in order to be sold. The quality of the kill determines the price, encouraging the player to hunt silently. For this, traps and bait can also be used.

Economy is now based on the Davenport Homestead, which also acts as Connor's adopted home. The site can be visited by people such as carpenters, tailors etc. suffering from displacement due to the war. Helping and interacting with these non-player characters (NPCs) will encourage them to settle in the Homestead. From there on, the player can craft various items and trade with them, and then sell the goods to the cities via caravan. The player can also help them build relationships with each other, which will then result in the formation of a small village. The player can also upgrade the Homestead manor as well as Connor's ship, the Aquila.

A revamped version of Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood's recruitment feature returns as players can enlist citizens to the Assassins' cause by completing "Liberation" missions. They also have a much larger skill set, which allows them to start a riot, provide a covert escort, act as a personal bodyguard etc. Other side missions include collecting Almanac pages, exploring underground tunnels to locate fast-travel stations, joining hunting and fighting clubs, investigating frontiersman rumours about UFOs and Sasquatch, "peg-leg" missions in which Connor goes to underground forts and wastelands to uncover the legend of Captain Kidd's treasure, and others.

Assassin's Creed III also features naval expeditions. Using Connor's warship, the Aquila, the player can navigate the high seas. Control of the ship relies on environmental factors such as wind direction and speed, local presence of storms, high waves, and rocks. Engagements are by cannon, with broadsides covering both flanks of the ship, and swivel guns that can be used to damage smaller ships which can also be boarded to find treasure. The Aquila is used in the side missions known as "Privateer missions" and is also used in some of the main missions.

The Wii U version of the game has extra features. The player has the ability to change weapons on the go and the map is always visible on the Wii U Gamepad. The Wii U version also supports Off TV Play. With this feature enabled, the main screen is redirected to the Wii U Gamepad.

Multiplayer returns in this installment by Ubisoft Annecy. Along with returning modes, new ones feature a co-operative mode named Wolfpack, in which 2-4 players are charged with killing certain NPCs within a time limit, through a sequence of 25 stages. It also features Domination, a team mode where players will have to capture certain areas of the map, protecting them from the opposing team

The Verdict: 

If you have been following my comments on Facebook, then you should already know how I feel about this game, but after clearing the main campaign, I strived to find some positives underneath all of the negatives of this game.

Single Player Gameplay

Narrative & Story Missions, Plus Basic Gameplay

In terms of story, I have to say I was more immersed in the Desmond-centric plot of the narrative rather than the whole behind-the-scenes look at the American Revolution. Some of you might find that surprising as it was completely the other way around when I played through Assassin's Creed: Revelations. I was more immersed in Ezio Auditore's narrative in his elder years as an Assassin (along with Altair's) than Desmond's reconstruction of his psyche. I think it's more with me being American and growing bored with that subject manner shoved down my throat throughout the duration of years in grade school and college. 

The first portion of the game that served as the prologue, whereas you played as Haytham Kenway was interesting enough, but it just dragged on too long for my taste. The sequence on the boat as you crossed the Atlantic could truly test any player's endurance and patience as you will start to think that this forced tutorial will never cease. To make matters worse, that sequence is merely the introduction to this prologue. Mind you, this prologue is roughly 4-6 hours in length before the game switches to the "real" open world portion of the game where you play as Ratonhnhaké:ton (Connor).

The basic gameplay mechanics are roughly the same that we have come accustomed to for the last 4 games now, minus the newest addition being that individual limb control via button inputs on the face buttons on the controller is now nonexistent in this game. The new free-run mechanic, whereas Connor will not make any is a welcome addition, but it is not helpful in the least when the environments are laid out in a way where you will be traversing more on at ground level than over rooftops and trees for the bulk of the game. Speaking of trees, that has to be this entry's most flawed mechanic. Every single time I would try to climb to the top of a tree to synchronize, Connor would glitch out and fall to his demise - EVERY SINGLE TIME. So I stopped trying to scale them for synchronization for the duration of the game.

I really hate the menus for using items in this game. By default in the past 3 games, to call my horse to my aid, I would merely hit up on the d-pad. Now, I'm forced to manually go into the menu, select horse and wait for it to walk up. It's steps back in gameplay like this is what really holds this entry back. I know we have come to the point that there are far too many items to hotkey and put into shortcut commands, but call me spoiled as the Batman: Arkham-themed games manages to make it work.

Unlike in the previous games in this series, I didn't mind the breaks from the Animus for more story with Desmond Miles' rag-tag group of assassins. This is our fourth game together now, so I have gotten used to their presence. To be honest, these breaks from playing as Connor were much appreciated and it was a welcome change to see Desmond's skills that he has acquired from his ancestors used in modern times. These sequences are flawed, much like the everything else with this game, with occasional graphical and AI behavior hiccups scattered within them. Despite the shortcomings, I found myself more interested in what was going on in the modern world than what transpired with Connor's ongoing quest for revenge and assisting with the American Revolution.

For me, Connor's story stood out the best during the set pieces placed throughout the battlefields in the American Revolution, especially when he was forced to transverse a live battlefield just to approach and assassinate his target or the few missions where Connor commanded allied troops to defend the frontlines of incoming enemy soldiers. As a result, the player is given control of allied soldiers' military armaments and troops to add a new dynamic of strategy in missions. This is a welcome change of pace over the tower and den defense mini-games from Assassin's Creed: Revelations.

One major aspect that hurts a lot of the missions is this game's (or lack of) stealth mechanics. Stealth is borderline laughable in this game as the slightest action detects your presence to enemies and animals alike. As a result, perfectionists will find themselves pulling their hair out going for the stealth-oriented optional objectives on the story missions.

I have to ask this question as well - why am I still being forced to follow a target around and listen to random conversations just to gather information? This gameplay mechanic has been horrible since the original Assassin's Creed and still comes across as pain in the ass in it's sequels. I will be glad when Ubisoft creates a new method for gathering information in these games. Why can't these assassins go around interrogating people like Batman for damn information? That would be more convenient. Just saying...

I think most players will agree with me but climax to this game fell flat completely on two-fronts. First of all, I wanted the fight against Haytham Kenway to last-longer than the brief final encounter that occured between them. The boss fight on its own was unique and another welcomed change from the norm that players have come accustomed to in this series' combat, but I left the encounter wanting more from it. The same could be said from the final chase sequence with Charles Lee that had an arsenal of bad gameplay mechanics plaguing it as well as lackluster finale. By this point, I had already given up on caring about Connor's story of revenge as it was clear at this point of the narrative that Connor was more fixated on revenge than following the Creed, and was anxious on the final revelation to the plot in the modern era. 

Combat

Prior to playing the game, other players and other gaming outlets raved about the series' combat in this entry is reminiscent to the Batman: Arkham-themed games. I beg to differ. It's still same tired and true strategy. You simply strife around your enemies and wait for them to make a move, counter, then follow-up with either a disarm, heavy attack, or instant kill afterwards. It's the same thing that players have been doing since the original Assassin's Creed. The only notable changes that stick out are the ability to counter multiple enemies at once and to use nearby enemies as human shields to block incoming gunfire. Connor is able to arm himself with enemy weapons, much like predecessor Ezio Auditore in previous games. Sadly, this mechanic is very flawed as I found myself mashing on the button to pick up weapons in combat. It's easier to simply to perform a disarm mid-combat than actually arming yourself with discarded weapons on the ground. It is a shame that more time wasn't spend in development honing this part of gameplay to perfection. 

Arguably, when combat does work right, it looks amazing to see Connor beat his opponents into submission. There is no doubt that you won't feel like a bad ass in these sequences, especially during the double and triple kill animations. 

Hunting

This concept is introduced shortly after gaining control of Connor in the narrative. For those who have played Red Dead Redemption or even Far Cry 3, some of the same principles apply here. Animals treat you like NPCs in the game. They are aware of your presence in the environment and will either run or attack if you are making too much noise or clearly visible in their field of vision. Other natural predators, such as bears and wolves will flat out attack you if you tread carelessly in their hunting grounds. You can either set traps and lure animals to their demise in a "clean" manner or you can track their movements through the trees and environment and take them down with honed precision with your hidden blade or long-range weapons.

This is a welcome addition to the series as it adds a new layer of depth and realism that this series has been missing on its wilderness environments. My only gripe with the animal NPCs is that they can even attack you while you are in the thick of the action during story missions that force you into their attack prompt QTE that often times get you killed or result in a mission failed thanks to the game glitching and you miss both the prompt and your target/objective. 

Homestead Missions

Other than hunting, this is what I found myself doing a lot of during my duration of gameplay. Instead of upgrading and restoring your family mansion to its former glory like back in Assassin's Creed II and Revelations, the Davenport Homestead serves as Connor's base of operations. By completing Homestead Missions, you can recruit more homesteaders to live in your budding community and offer to make supplies for trading and potentially craft stronger and more rare items for use in missions. More importantly, these missions allow Connor to learn more about the people settling around the Davenport Homestead.

These missions vary in variety, as some would have you hunting for rare animals, others will have you raiding tombs like in Assassin's Creed II for a particular item, then some will prove to be as simple as merely winning an optional mini-game. 

Liberation Missions

This is how you recruit your assassins to help you, much like the recruits back in Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood and Assassin's Creed: Revelations. Complete these tasks, which are commonly stop a few enemy soldiers from bullying townsfolk, and you will have a new recruit to summon in combat or to assist you with stealth attacks on targets.

My biggest gripe with this is it is nowhere as refined as it was in the last two games. I will easily admit that it was rather overpowered in a few sections of Brotherhood and Revelations, but that is still no reason to dumb it down to this degree. Sure, your recruits have a few new options to them, but that's simply to make up for the absence of various guilds to assist you in this time period.

Privateer Missions

To say that naval warfare was a huge selling point of this game, I found it to be most cumbersome of the new gameplay options in this game. Steering and navigating the Aquila is often times a hassle, and this is amplified in combat. Players are expected to steer the boat, aim the cannons precisely, and even defend against enemy attacks during combat. It sounds cool in theory, but much like the traditional combat and everything else in this game, it doesn't work good enough.

With Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag set to center around this aspect within the age of pirates, I can only hope and pray that they refine this area of gameplay for it is a much more enjoyable experience than what was provided here. 

Sound

Hands-down, the BEST theme used in this game. Sadly, you only get to hear it only a handful of times in the game, namely during the last chase sequence of the game and during the ending credits. The rest of this game's music is easily forgettable. That is sad as one would expect some monumental tracks to accompany this period in American history, especially during all of the battles across the battlefields of the American Revolution.  

Glitches

I have experienced a bulk of those glitches and then some throughout my tenure with this game. It seemed like Ubisoft literally rushed this game out just to meet the holiday gaming rush deadlines. As a result, this Assassin's Creed game feels more like a beta-test than Revelations did.

The worst glitch I experienced was the during the introduction of Connor coming to Boston on horseback and he fell through the environment and died. I reloaded the checkpoint about two more times only for it to repeat again and again. After the third attempt, the game finally allowed me to continue my progress in the mission. 

Multiplayer

First of all, shout-out and kudos to my friend, Anahiko, for taking the time out of her busy gaming schedule and helping me out on learning the ropes and running a few multiplayer sessions for I could obtain reasonable feedback. I'm sure she won't even have time to read this as she hasn't stopped playing Grand Theft Auto V's Online Mode to my knowledge...

One thing players must note that an UPlay account is required for playing online. If you have been playing these games since the original Assassin's Creed then you more likely already have a UPlay account already anyway...

As this game is in the last leg of its multiplayer lifespan, there's not many players playing online, but when you do get a full room of players it's a thing of beauty, especially with the team-executed sync kills (see video below) that are triggered simultaneously by all 4 players working together in unison to strike down 4 separate targets in unison. Think of it much like the sync shots in Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Future Soldier, but you have 3 other human companions with you instead of AI.

In multiplayer modes, there are 16 characters playable (more as DLC) with different sets of preset skills and weapons, but all of them are equipped with a melee weapon for assassinations. I found myself using The Independent (who reminded me of Connor's mother) the most as I didn't fancy to any of the other archetypes. While there are many multiplayer modes, most players are playing Domination and Wolfpack. Domination is a team mode in which players need to capture areas of the map while protecting them from the opposite team. In other words, it's your run of the mill capture the flag mode in online multiplayer. Wolfpack is where 2-4 players have to hunt down and kill targets within a time limit with a total of 25 sequences.

I personally found Wolfpack to be the most fun as everyone is scrambling across the map to kill targets and bonus targets within the allowed time limit. If you are like me and a complete newbie to multiplayer in these games, then Wolfpack is a great place to start rather than trying to hunt down other human players in the other multiplayer modes. For achievement/trophy hunters, it's a lot easier to level grind in this mode as well. While I'm not the biggest fan of online multiplayer period, I found myself easily losing about 6+ hours of my free time having a blast in this mode.

For players who want to invest in this mode for the long haul, there are customization options and unlockable outfits, items, and weapons for higher levels. I'm sure the customization freaks from Call of Duty and Battlefield will love that option in multiplayer. Sadly, there's not that level of depth here, but it's enough to keep things interesting.

Closing Remarks

I really wanted to like Connor, but he came off as a lackluster replacement to his predecessors in the Assassin lineage. Sue me, I'm still quite attached to Ezio Auditoire after spending the last three games that chronicled his life from beginning to end, so I came into this entry with high expectations for his replacement. Connor allowed his personal vendetta for revenge to blindside him to anything else but that mission throughout the course of the game. Not for one instance did he think about the bigger picture outside the small scope of his train of thought. It's sad that his Templar father held up as a far more interesting character than the bland character that Connor was portrayed as in this game. Hell, I was even more interested in Kaniehti:io than Connor and that's just sad. Call me nitpicky, but Ubisoft have managed to engross players into their protagonists, especially Altair, Ezio, and even Desmond Miles nowadays, with each new entry adding a new layer of depth to those characters. Now we are up to the fourth sequel and treated with a new protagonist who is merely following orders and not asking questions. It's exactly how Altair found himself becoming a pawn in this circle from the start. So I ask, why are we repeating this pattern? I thought the Creed exists to make sure that no other Assassins found themselves to become pawns to the grander scale of things in motion?

As for the narrative in modern times, I'm anxious to see where it goes from here. It's obvious that Desmond Miles' key role in this narrative is over (for now...) but I doubt this is going to the last that we have seen of him and his companions. 

From the original Assassin's Creed to the entire Ezio trilogy (Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, and Assassin's Creed: Revelations) to Assassin's Creed III, I have put up with the best and the worst this series has to offer from the creative minds of Ubisoft. Much like Revelations, Ubisoft seems to be at a lost to where to take this series next. With every step forward they take this series creatively, it steps back tenfold with its own shortcomings. Regardless, I know I will play the next entry, solely on the fact that I am so heavily interested and fixated on this series' narrative, but at the same time, I know there are not many gamers who will put up with this degree of shortcomings and glitches just for a good story. With a heavy heart, I have to give Assassin's Creed III a 7 out of 10.

With Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag releasing today set in the age of pirates and swashbuckling, I can only hope that Ubisoft gets their shit together before this series finds itself at the end of its chain. That being said, Ubisoft would be best to consider not making this series an annual franchise. 

REVIEW -- Machete Kills (2013)

Danny Trejo returns as Machete once again as director Robert Rodriguez brings another action-packed thriller to the table with a sequel to Machete, dubbed Machete Kills.

I know, I know... I'm about two weeks too late to put this review up. Blame the lateness on this flu followed by the sinus infection afterwards. Better late than never I suppose.

Cast:

Danny Trejo as Machete Cortez
Michelle Rodriguez as Luz / Shé
Sofía Vergara as Madame Desdemona
Amber Heard as Miss San Antonio
Lady Gaga as La Camaleón
Antonio Banderas as El Camaleón 4
Cuba Gooding Jr. as El Camaleón 2
Jessica Alba as Sartana Rivera
Demián Bichir as Mendez
Mel Gibson as Luther Voz
Carlos Estévez (Charlie Sheen) as President Rathcock
Walton Goggins as El Camaleón 1
Vanessa Hudgens as Cereza
Alexa Vega as KillJoy
Marko Zaror as Zaror
Tom Savini as Osiris Amanpour
William Sadler as Sheriff Doakes
Julio Oscar Mechoso as Chepo
Billy Blair as Billy Blair
Samuel Davis as Clebourne
Vincent Fuentes as Cabrito Cook
Elle Lamont as Dollface
Felix Sabates as Doc Felix
Electra and Elise Avellan as Nurse Mona and Nurse Lisa
Marci Madison as Nurse Fine
Elon Musk as Himself

Plot: (FULL Spoilers)

The film is preceded by a fake trailer for Machete Kills Again... In Space!, which features the titular hero on an intergalactic mission, starring Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Alexa Vega, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber as a robot named Bleep (which Machete destroys), and Leonardo DiCaprio as "The Man in the Silver Mask" (with the sub-note that the actor playing the role is subject to change).

The actual film starts off with Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) attempting to capture weapon dealers who have been supplying the drug cartels, but the dealers are protected by mercenaries, who murder Sartana and severely injure Machete, who is then arrested by corrupt Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler) and Deputy Clebourne (Samuel Davis). Before Doakes can execute him, Machete is released and taken to President Rathcock (Carlos Estévez), who offers Machete United States citizenship if he eliminates Marcos Mendez (Demián Bichir), a psychopath who is threatening to fire a nuclear missile at Washington, D.C. if the American government doesn't intervene in the rampant corruption of the government of Mexico.

Machete agrees and travels to San Antonio, where he meets his handler, Blanca Vasquez (Amber Heard), a beauty pageant competitor also known as "Miss San Antonio", who seduces Machete before sending him to Acapulco to meet a young woman, Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens), who can lead him to Mendez. Madame Desdemona (Sofía Vergara), who attempts to kill Machete before he escapes with Cereza. She takes him to Mendez's associate, Zaror (Marko Zaror), who kills Cereza before taking Machete to Mendez's base of operations.
Machete finds her in a brothel run by her mother,

There, Machete learns that Mendez has wired the missile's launch device to his heart. Machete escapes, kills Zaror and his men and captures Mendez, whom he intents to escort to the United States before going after the man who provided him with the missile. Shortly thereafter, a hit is put on their heads, and Machete is target by Madame Desdemona and her prostitute assassins, Sheriff Doakes and also a shapeshifting hitman, El Camaleón. In the process, he learns that Mendez is an ex-secret agent who tried to expose his corrupt superiors, only to be betrayed and forced to watch his family being tortured. The trauma drove him insane and led him to join forces with the missile's creator.

Machete and Mendez continuously evade Madame Desdemona and El Camaleón, and kill Sheriff Doakes and Deputy Clebourne before reaching the border, only to be caught by a reborn Zaror and the same mercenaries who killed Sartana. Zaror decapitates Mendez and takes Machete to meet his benefactor, corrupt businessman Luther Voz (Mel Gibson). Voz shows Machete Mendez's beating heart, preserved in a jar, and informs him of his plan to manipulate extremists throughout the world to detonate nuclear weapons while he and whoever chooses to join him escapes in a spaceship to rebuild society in Space. Voz also reveals that Zaror is one of the many genetically-engineered super-soldier clones he has created to assist him. Machete then escapes with help from Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who had heard about the hit on Machete. She informs him that the only one who can disarm Mendez's heart is Machete's old enemy Osiris Amanpour. Machete contacts Miss San Antonio, who instructs her to meet her at a rendezvous point.

Arriving there, Machete is betrayed by Miss San Antonio, who is in league with Voz, and escapes into the desert, where El Camaleón tries to kill him one last time before being accidentally killed by racist border patrol. Machete then reunites with Luz and her group, the Network, and they infiltrate a fundraiser at Voz's base of operations. In the ensuring firefight, Osiris is killed by Voz before being able to disarm Mendez's heart. Machete fights Voz and disfigures him, forcing Voz to use a metallic silver mask. Meanwhile, Luz fights Miss San Antonio, who blinds Luz's other eye before Luz stabs her in the heart. Luz is then ambushed, frozen in Carbonite and loaded in Voz's ship.

Machete rides the missile and disarms it in mid-air, while Voz boards the ship and departs with the Zaror clones and Luz. Machete is rescued in the ocean by President Rathcock, who assigns him the mission to follow Voz to Space and kill him. Machete then departs to Station X in Earth's orbit, where he is given a laser machete to start his mission.

In a post-credits scene an outtake from the "pussy punch" scene is included followed by a shot of President Rathcock in front of a space background inquisitively brandishing two of Voz's guns (the molecular disruptor and the same pistol used to kill Sartana) before firing wildly at an off-screen target.

The Verdict: 

From the second the movie started with the "joke" trailer for Machete Kills Again... In Space, I was literally telling myself that would pay to see that, regardless of how silly it looked. Boy, little did I know that was pretty much the teaser for the NEXT sequel!

I have read some of the other reviews on this film and they have gone from entirely negative to lukewarm on its reception for the opening weekend. I feel that this film needs to be split up and discussed in two separate parts in order to do it justice - the stellar first half and the lackluster clusterfuck of a final half of the film.

I loved the first half of the film with Machete finding himself having to trust and work together with the dual-personalities of Mendes. Bichir really stole the show for me throughout the first half of the film with his uncanny ability to bring those multiple personalities to life. El (and La) Camaleon, along with Desdemona and her brothel of female bounty hunters were all interesting enough. Call me biased but I could listen to Sofia Vergara's heavenly voice all day. Hell, she could sit back and just read stuff out of the phone book and I'm happy. I had to laugh that Vanessa Hudgens' role in this film is more forgettable than the minor part that she played in Sucker Punch. Lady Gaga as La Camaleon is so crazy that words can't express how unique that was. It played up her personality and I would love to see her come back in a different role in a sequel.

I just don't fathom why Robert Rodriguez decided to deter the film into science fiction craziness in the last half of the film. You would think that those previously mentioned characters would be more than enough to carry this film from start to finish but no, it takes a hard turn into the bizarre in the last half. We'll discuss that clusterfuck in a moment but I want to focus on more of the good in the first half of the film. I think one of the comments I read on Facebook said it best - "This film is loaded with some of the most gorgeous women in the world and it's almost a sin that this is even humanly possible." It's like hottie overload to the point you almost can't comprehend that this is possible, but then all of the over-the-top action and humor reminds you that this is a film that is not made to be taken seriously in the first place.

That brings us to the latter half of the film, where Mel Gibson makes his villainous debut as Luther Voz. I honestly was expecting Gibson to come off as cheesy as Steven Seagal in the original Machete as Rogelio Torrez, but he managed to surprise me in his portrayal as a villain. The film lost me when it detoured almost completely from the narrative of the first half of the film and ventured into science fiction territory with a heavy Star Wars influence with a sprinkle of Voz being a modern-day Americanized Doctor Doom. Voz even remarks at one point, "Sue me, I'm a Star Wars fan." While I can understand why Robert Rodriguez decided to throw a curve ball into this secret agent/mercenary-for-hire style of narrative, the only thing he managed to do was create a film that has a huge identity crisis. I thought the plot for the first half of the film would have worked perfectly, given if the characters introduced in the first
half were given more air-time on their background stories and room to develop. I loved Camaleon's journey across Mexico, but it seem the film completely forgot about Desdemona and her vixens after Machete and Mendez crossed the border. I doubt they would have been gunned down as easily as Camaleon was. Besides, his/her demise was mostly to blame on the wrong disguise at the worse time ever.

Another issue I had in this last half was why did Luz and the rest of her rebellion group wait that long to come to Machete's aid when they were monitoring his activities? She could have spared Machete the drama of being double crossed by Miss San Antonio and could have provided an easier escape route for Machete and Mendez. It just seemed like bad pacing and writing at that point of the narrative. The viewers already know that Machete was still working with Sartana, so why wouldn't he still be in contact with Luz too? It just seemed really odd to me. Speaking of Luz, I had to laugh when Miss San Antonio took out her remaining eye in their climatic catfight. What's next? Is Shé (see what I did there?) going to have bionic eye implants in the inevitable sequel?

Machete Kills ends with nothing really coming to a close. Mendes' heart bomb, along with the other in several world leaders, have been defused but Voz escapes to his space station orbiting the Earth with Luz in tow as a hostage. I remember walking out of the theater, asking myself, "What the HELL did I just watch?" At the end of the day, this is a film that doesn't take itself seriously at all. If you're looking for a film that's all action and full of some of the most beautiful women assembled in a film in recent memory without barely any cohesive threads to hold it together in terms of a narrative, then this is definitely up your alley. If you're looking for something else with a bit more substance in your typical action-flick, then I suggest you look elsewhere.

With this film clearly being incomplete until Machete Kills Again... In Space debuts in another 2-3 years, I have to give this a low score as a stand-alone film. There's some fun to had here, but I can only give this film a 6.25 out 10.

Now that the review part of this article is out of the way, let's have some fun...

Yeah... think about that for a second for a good ol' fashioned mindfuck... (Whistles) Alexa Vega really came along nicely after all these years. As for Amber Heard, c'mon, most of us guys already know she's a hottie given her resume nowadays, especially after her appearance in Drive Angry made her a no-brainer to be included in a film like this.

I have to wonder... Since Danny Trejo appears as a janitor in Modern Family with Sofia Vergara on a few episodes, is that their day jobs or cover while not on assignments? There you go, folks - more mindfuckery. 

A Lesson Concerning LOGIC In Professional Wrestling

While you guys patiently wait on the write-up for the month of September - which will have extended coverage into the month of October as I feel that I cannot wait another month to discuss WWE Battleground and the follow-up week of WWE and TNA programming - I feel like I need to discuss the topic of logic in wrestling.

Most of you guys who know me personally know that I'm a forum lurker. I tend to not post or comment on anything unless it really interests me. As we know the IWC (internet wrestling community) is full of more idiots than intelligent people nowadays - no thanks to this PG-era of wrestling, so I tend to not get caught up arguing with marks. It's a complete waste of my time that could be put towards something more productive.




Regardless, when I read the following on one message board in particular, I couldn't keep my mouth closed on this situation:

The use of kayfabe lawsuits and criminal complaints in professional wrestling always has been quite laughable. After all, it’s difficult to inject legal principles into a business where arguments are settled with the use of folding chairs.

The Steve Austin/Brian Pillman home invasion comes to mind as a scenario that provided a somewhat logical basis to suspend reality, as it occurred outside of the wrestling environment. Unfortunately, we’re all-too-often asked to invest in a storyline surrounding some sort of legal action that occurs within the confines of the arena.

Attack and injure a wrestler from behind with a lead pipe? Shocking, but not criminal.

Lay your hands on Paul Heyman in the middle of the ring? You better have your attorney on speed-dial.

WWE once again has thrust itself into the legal realm with the current storyline involving the Big Show and the recent update that criminal charges for trespass and assault are being pursued by the Pittsburgh Police. This situation is kayfabe and somewhat absurd in the world of wrestling, but is it at least logical and legally sufficient? Do the circumstances present a picture that separates itself from the run-of-the-mill criminal activity that takes place every Monday night on Raw?

Because these actions occurred in Pittsburgh, we need to turn to Pennsylvania statutory law as a guideline. Our first stop is Section 3503 of the PA Crimes Code, which provides the likely charges that would be brought for criminal trespass in a real-life scenario:

***Warning***    ***Beginning Legalese***  ***Skip below to avoid headache***

The section explains that an individual is guilty of a felony of the third degree if he, without permission or license to do so, “enters, gains entry by subterfuge or surreptitiously remains in any building or occupied structure or separately secured or occupied portion thereof.”  18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3503(a)(1)(i).

The section also explains that an individual is guilty of a felony of the second degree if he, without permission or license to do so, “breaks into any building or occupied structure or separately secured or occupied portion thereof.”  18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3503(a)(1)(ii). The term “breaks into” is defined as follows: “To gain entry by force, breaking, intimidation, unauthorized opening of locks, or through an opening not designed for human access.”

***End Legalese***

In layman’s terms, these statutes tell us that a person commits criminal trespass when he is unauthorized to be present in a building, yet gains access or remains in that building in one of two ways. If you do so secretly, you’re guilty of a felony of the third degree. If you do so by utilizing force or intimidation, you’re guilty of a felony of the second degree.

Under this framework, the question is whether or not Big Show committed a logical offense even in a world filled with over-the-top criminal antics. The simple answer is yes.

When Big Show was “terminated” on Monday night, his license or permission to remain in the business had been revoked. His permission to enter and remain in the Consol Energy Center was contingent upon his employment with a company that was licensed to operate in that building on that night. Once he was ejected from the building, he certainly could have attempted to regain a license to enter the building through a ticket purchase. However, any such ticket contains restrictions regarding the areas of the building that can be accessed. The ringside area certainly is included within such restrictions.

The only remaining question is how he entered or remained in the building. Did he hide in the back or sneak back in, or did he use force or intimidation to enter? In either case, Big Show would be looking at a felony charge for criminal trespass in a real world situation.

With criminal trespass in the mix, the possible assault charges somewhat speak for themselves. Sanctioned combat that occurs with the consent of the parties involved operates as an exception to criminal assault charges. If we stretch our imagination and assume that the kayfabe privilege of being a WWE employee requires consent to attack or be attacked by any other WWE employee, it is easy to see that Big Show lost this exception to the law when he was terminated.

While I could break down the differences between simple assault and aggravated assault, I think it’s pretty safe to say that by now, many of the readers have resorted to ogling the Bella Twins and Eva Marie in the links below (you’re welcome Crave).

In any case, the ultimate take-away from this column is the fact that you can breathe easy and take solace in the fact that Big Show’s pending “criminal charges” are no more absurd than the average wrestling storyline.

I wonder if they make ankle bracelets large enough to fit the Big Show?

***Nothing in the preceding column is intended to be construed as constituting legal advice***

***Adam Gorzelsky is an attorney licensed to practice law in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania***

Credit: WrestleZone.com

Now keep in mind. I don't have a thing wrong with this article/report, but it's the forum comments that spawned from it. I watched user after user reply with comments like "Logic doesn't belong in wrestling!" or "Who needs logic anyway? It's wrestling!" I couldn't help but sit back and double facepalm as I read these comments, occasionally banging my head on the desk.

Let's start with the definition of logic:

Logic (from the Greek λογική, logos) has two meanings: first, it describes the use of valid reasoning in some activity; second, it names the normative study of reasoning or a branch thereof.

Maybe it's because I'm one of the few older fans still watching wrestling today or maybe it's from analytic qualities I picked up from majoring in film studies and media arts in college, but I don't watch television or anything for that matter across all forms of media without asking "Why?" - Why did the director/creator make this film? What message are they trying to get across? What does the creator want his/her audience to feel after witnessing this spectacle? There's a LOT more questions I can add in , but for now, I'm just keeping this simple before I turn this article into one of my old film theory textbooks.

The point that I'm getting at is that logic has a time and place in professional wrestling, whether people like it or not. The sad thing is that the average viewer won't recognize it in today's product until someone else explains it for them.

For example, let's look at a match back on WWE Monday Night RAW from a few weeks ago. The team of Santino Marella and The Great Khali (w/ Hornswoggle) faced 3MB (Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, and Jinder Mahal). At one point of the match where it looked like Santino was ready to win with his signature Cobra finishing maneuver, Jinder Mahal started playing a flute to "charm" The Cobra. Hornswoggle provided a distraction that allowed Khali to obtain the flute and put The Cobra back under Santino's control.

To the unwashed masses (shoutout to Sandow...), this entire ordeal is seen as entirely pointless and silly without any logic behind it what so ever. Truth be told, there is logic behind this comedy act. When Santino was feuding with Antonio Cesaro back when Cesaro held the United States Championship, it was proven that The Cobra could be swayed out of Santino's control when it was "charmed" by Aksana's advances.

I'm not against wrestling having random bouts of comedy, such as the previously mentioned example, but if viewers want to act professional wrestling has no logic at all, I suggest they turn to any episode of Family Guy if viewers wish to see a product that has next to no logic at all, aside from random clips and pop culture references scattered across cliched sitcom narrative.

Let's look at another example of logic in professional wrestling. This time, we shall look at an example that is not using comedy to drive the point home. Rewind the clocks back to roughly 2008 where Shawn Michaels reportedly found himself broke and was forced to do John Bradshaw Layfield's bidding to continue providing money to support his family at home. So where do you ask is the logic behind this as roughly everyone knows Shawn Michaels makes more than enough money to provide for his family whether he is still wrestling or not? Simple, this is merely kayfabe (fantasy/make-believe in the wrestling world). The logical reasoning why WWE did an angle like this is to reflect the state of the current economy in the United States at the time. It's basic knowledge in film theory is that your audience (or spectators) will feel more attached to a narrative (or storyline in wrestling terms) if the viewers can identify with what is going on.

What I'm getting at is for the people who are screaming and complaining about "there's no logic behind wrestling!" is that mindset is completely false, simply for the fact that their logic doesn't cater to your (as a spectator) type of thinking. If the viewing audience cannot identify with the onscreen spectacle (in this case, the average WWE storyline/angle), then it is easy for the audience to brush off the angle as having no sense of logical reasoning behind it. At the end of the day, it comes down to whether or not the viewing audience are capable of open-minded thinking or simply trapped and limiting their enjoyment of this art form by continuing a bare-bones track of closed-minded thinking.

As an added bonus, I shall break down the current dilemma with The Big Show. Much like the HBK/JBL angle that was previously mentioned, WWE are capitalizing on audiences identifying with The Big Show's plight to do everything in his power to say employed, given the state of the current economy and despite how much he hates doing Triple H and Stephanie McMahon's dirty work. The million dollar question is why involve law enforcement and criminal charges to this angle after it seems like there shouldn't be any issue with physicality in wrestling, right? Once again, there is a method to this madness... The Big Show was fired, so of course, Triple H wants to take legal action instead of dirtying his hands with a revenge match against the World's Largest Athlete that he could potentially lose. Just look at his track record against Brock Lesnar. I know that I wouldn't risk anymore close calls like that either. Let's be serious though - the logical reasoning behind this is that it is a step towards making the angle a bit more realistic. Of course, it's not going to look real to anyone who has been watching wrestling since the days where Stone Cold Steve Austin found himself arrested at the end of almost every other RAW broadcast.

Like it or not, logic exists in professional wrestling. So, the next time you're are throwing your hands up and going "WTF? There's no logic in this at ALL!" Sit down and think about it, as you're not looking hard enough. There's always a method to the madness...

REVIEW -- Beware The Batman - Episode 11: Instinct

Professor Pyg and Mister Toad are back in Gotham after their lengthy absence in this series from the pilot episode, roughly ten episodes later. It's up to Batman and Katana to stop their latest nursery rhyme-inspired crime.

Following this episode, Beware The Batman will be on hiatus until returning back to Cartoon Network on October 25th. At this point, there is no clear sign of the end of this season in sight. Cartoon Network haven't announced a renewal for this series for 2014 either. Given the short-lived nature of Green Lantern: The Animated Series and Young Justice: Invasion, anything DC Comics-oriented does not tend to have a long lifespan on Cartoon Network's DC Comics cartoon block.

Episode Synopsis: (Spoilers)

Professor Pyg and Mister Toad are back, and this time, they've set their sights on Gotham's elite couture culture. Leaving clues with words from the nursery rhyme "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep," they attack a fashion model named Azura and a clothing designer named Liam Taylor. Although Batman and Katana are able to save them, they miss Pyg and Toad's master plan: destroying the yacht where the after-party for Gotham's Fashion Week is being held.

The Verdict: 

This was another episode that treated viewers to the detective skills and reasoning behind the Dark Knight. The opening scene between Bruce Wayne and Tatsu Yamashiro having an elegant dinner was truly a spectacle to behold. Tatsu (along with the viewers) are treated to the environment being nothing out of the ordinary for a change, but of course, to Bruce Wayne/Batman, he is not that naive to his surroundings. He quickly and easily points out all of the crime and malicious deeds around them. I don't know about anyone else but I love these little tidbits that show off Batman being just as good (if not better) at methods of deductive reasoning than Sherlock Holmes himself. 

While I was glad to see Professor Pyg and Mister Toad make their return in this series, I thought they would have put up a better fight this time around. With Katana in tow, Batman easily outclassed them this time, whereas he barely managed to deal with them during their initial encounter on this series' pilot. I thought it was a bit of overkill though that Katana smacked the bombs right back at them during the climax of their encounter.

As for Jason Burr, I guess we are supposed to assume that Cypher still has some sort of control over him after the events of "Control" as he has been formally welcomed into the League of Assassins by Lady Shiva at the end of this episode. If I were to speculate at this stage, I think Cypher downloaded his psyche into Jason when he realized he could not defeat Batman and Katana at the end of "Control" as his final Hail Mary play.

"Instinct" proved to be another episode that made it painfully obvious that Katana's training with Batman is far from done. If she truly wishes to excel at being a crime-fighter, she is going to learn to follow her instincts. Fortunately, she wisely followed her intuition about something being amiss with Jason Burr. We can only tell with the following episode(s) on the horizon that her hunch served her right. "Instincts" gets a 3 out of 5. 

REVIEW -- Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. - Episode 2: 0-8-4

Yeah, I know I'm behind on my writing for this show. I watched this episode (again) and Episode 3 today back-to-back since I was attempting to take it a bit easy today since I keep feeling like I'm getting a cold with the weather alternating between hot and cold.

Let's get this out of the way as I'm looking forward to writing about Dr. Franklin Hall's origin story in the next episode.

Episode Synopsis: (Spoilers Ahead)

Skye is now integrated into Coulson's team as a consultant. Their next assignment is in Peru, tracking a "0-8-4", a S.H.I.E.L.D. prefix for "an object of unknown origin". Once there, the team quickly realizes that the object is actually a piece of forgotten HYDRA technology powered by Tesseract energy. Coulson meets with a former ally, Camilla Reyes (Leonor Varela) and brings her unit on board the team plane. Later, Reyes betrays Coulson and plans to take the HYDRA weapon for herself so she can take over Peru. The squabbling team members band together, utilizing each of their talents, and save the day. Skye receives a text message from another member of the Rising Tide and confirms her allegiance to them. Afterwards, Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) scolds Coulson for the damage to the plane.

The Verdict:

Starting off, I am glad to see that this episode was definite breath of fresh air compared to the pilot. Everyone on Coulsen's team got their chance to shine and I don't have any issues with that in the least.

This episode served as this series' moment, much like Marvel's Avengers, where a crisis forces the team to come together for the greater good. Once again, Coulsen is used as ploy to get everyone on the same page. I personally thought that was rather cliched here, but the end result is what made this episode shine. Each one of Coulsen's specialized team members proved their worth. Melinda May and Agent Ward showcased their individual combat expertise, Team Science 2.0 (Agents Fitz and Simmons) devised the strategy, and Skye read the instructions... Trust me, that joke is more funny in context if you have already seen the episode. I'm still pretty bummed that we don't get much more information about why Melinda May does not like to be referred to as "The Calvary" and stepped down from being in action in the field, despite her vast degree of combat experience, but I guess I'll take what few bones they toss her on character development.

I'm rather confused on who Camilla Reyes is supposed to be in this version of the Marvel Universe. For X-Men fans, Dr. Cecilia Reyes was a mutant who was an off-and-on again member of the X-Men. Her mutant power was the ability to generate protective fields around her body. During the X-Men's post-Onslaught aftermath period, Reyes was a vital member with her medical expertise in the field. In this series, Camilla Reyes is merely a former love interest of Agent Coulsen and has no signs of mutant powers, thus establishing that she has no relation to that comic book character previously mentioned. Reyes proved to be merely a military figure merely wanting to use the HYDRA technology for her own benefit. That was a bit of an underwhelming plot twist to say the least. I thought they were going to reveal that she was working for HYDRA or A.I.M. but I guess I'm allowing my vast knowledge for Marvel Comics to govern my high expectations for this show.

One major gripe that I have for the show is that they are name-dropping and referring to a lot of Marvel Comics and Cinematic Universe terms and characters that possibly went over the vast popularity of people viewing this show. I found myself doing a rather lengthy write-up explaining terminology for my friends who aren't too savvy on the comics and source material on Facebook this past weekend. I know that I'm in the minority of hardcore Marvel fans that know this stuff like a textbook and know what they are talking about and referring to. Everyone else doesn't have that much of geekdom in Marvel Universe's lore. I think Josh Whedon's writers could benefit in future episodes in slowing down a bit and allowing viewers to digest and process what they have just witnessed instead of bombarding term and reference back-to-back. For example, for those that don't know, the Tesseract is the cube that Loki used as the "infinite power source" in his plot to conquer the Earth during the attack on New York City in Marvel's Avengers. The Tesseract is based loosely off the Cosmic Cube found in Marvel Comics' lore.

One thing I have to definitely comment on is the cameo appearance of Nick Fury (reprised by Samuel L. Jackson) at the end of this episode. If his appearance does not solidify and remove any (if not all) doubt that the Avengers' cast will make cameo appearances in this show, then Fury's appearance was the moneymaker that sealed the deal. Sure, it was short and sweet, but short appearances like these don't deter away from this series' principal cast and does not leave audiences expecting that they are series regulars. They can pop in and out as the writers see fit, but appear periodically enough to build into future solo and group Avengers-related films.

As for Skye's association with The Rising Tide, I'm not buying it. On one hand, this series did a bad job establishing what The Rising Tide is on the pilot episode. I was under the impression that it was merely a propaganda group that Skye was merely contributing to on her website. If the group is more than that, this series should have established that on the first episode instead of just simply leaving up in the air and speculation. On the other hand, I could see her ratting out S.H.I.E.L.D. to benefit herself somehow, but she has to be stupid to believe everything that Coulsen and Ward are spoon feeding her throughout the course of her stay with their group. She is even more clueless if she doesn't know that S.H.I.E.L.D. has several surveillance outlets and if they weren't tipped off by any means of communication she has incoming or outgoing of their networks in their vicinity. My guess is that Coulsen is simply playing stupid to her actions and waiting for real "head cheese" behind The Rising Tide to come to the surface.

Agent Coulsen's team finally found the means to coexist with each other and work together as a cohesive unit and as a result, "0-8-4" provided more action and stronger narrative than the series' pilot gave viewers during the premiere. I'm giving this episode a 3 out of 5.

REVIEW -- The Legend of Korra - Book Two: Spirits - Episodes 3 & 4: Civil Wars, Pts. 1 and 2

Fear not, Legend of Korra fans! I'm still watching this show as well when I'm not tuning into Beware The Batman. I simply wanted to write about this two-part dynamic in its entirety, rather than write two separate reviews on these episodes.

Episode Synopsis: (Spoilers)

Civil Wars, Part 1

As the Southerners chafe under what they perceive as an occupation, Unalaq explains to Korra that he wants to protect the southern portal and have Korra open its northern counterpart. Varrick, whose business suffers from Unalaq's blockade, begins fomenting a revolt. Korra unsuccessfully tries to keep the peace and prevents an abduction of Unalaq by Southern rebels. As she tries to reconcile with her mother and father, Unalaq appears to arrest them. Meanwhile, at the Southern Air Temple, Ikki disappears and Tenzin, Kya, and Bumi search for her, while reminiscing about their childhood with their father Aang.

Civil Wars, Part 2

After her father is sentenced to life in prison for treason, Korra discovers that Unalaq stage-managed the trial, just like Tonraq's earlier banishment, to rid himself of a rival. With the help of her friends and Varrick, Korra breaks Tonraq and other condemned rebels out of prison, also saving Bolin from a forced marriage to Unalaq's daughter Eska. She promises to seek the United Republic's support for the Southern rebellion. At the Southern Air Temple, Ikki and Tenzin each reconcile with their siblings.

The Verdict:

I thought it would be better that I discuss these two episodes together rather than in two separate reviews. 

Civil Wars, Part 1 continued to explore the rifts in Korra's family as Unalaq's true intentions were becoming more and more clear as the episode played out. It was becoming more painfully obvious that Korra would not be able to stay neutral in this conflict, despite of both of Unalaq and her parents' wishes. Call me nuts, but I see this playing out similarly to how Avatar Roku's life did since he was part of the Fire Nation's initial tyranny that sparked the Hundred Year War, ushered in by his former best friend, Fire Lord Sozin. This rift between these two families is slowly leading towards the same end result, with a war that the Avatar may not be able to do anything to stop from happening.

Poor, poor, Bolin. It seems he cannot catch a break when it comes to dealing with Eska (Aubrey Plaza). At every fatal turn, he is unable to shake her advances and escape her affection - if you can even call it that. No offense to Aubrey Plaza, but she always is typecast as an emotionless young woman who is typically indifferent in her actions and emotions. 

Civil Wars, Part 2 is where we finally saw Team Avatar properly reunited for Book Two, as Asami took part in this action-packed episode. I wouldn't be doing this review justice if I didn't mention how much I laughed at Varrick's antics throughout this episode. I didn't expect I would enjoy his character that much.

"That platypus-bear is pooping money!"

We finally got the Korra we know and loved from last season back when she chased after the judge and demanded information on her parents' trial. This scene was very reminiscent of Korra's confrontation with the Councilman Tarrlok in Book One: Air before he was revealed to be a blood-bender. Good to see that Korra is back to not taking shit from anyone instead of sitting back and crying about things out of her control.

As for Unalaq's deception, I can't say I was surprised. From the way he has been sitting on his throne as if he was Dr. Doom in Latveria, viewers couldn't help but expect he had another motive for stringing Korra along. Once again... this is coming off with a lot of been-there, done that with this plot. Unalaq and Tonraq's family rivalry is starting to sound almost identical to the one between Tarrlok and Amon in Book One: Air. I really hope they find a way to spice this up by the end of this season as it's already starting to get stale already.

I found that scene in the previous episode to be a bit uncharacteristic of Korra. Even though the moment was brief, but it exposed too much of vulnerability to Korra's character. Book One: Air established her as hot-tempered, yet strong woman, but the bulk of Book Two: Spirits has been slowly erasing that perception of her. While I understand this family dynamic is a touchy subject for Korra at this stage of her life, but Book Two: Spirits keeps painting the picture that Korra is merely an entitled spoiled brat, thanks to her status as the current Avatar.

I thought it was pretty absurd that Bolin would be taking girlfriend advice from this brother, Mako, when we all know that he couldn't break up with Asami without the beans about him having feelings about Korra coming into the limelight at the end of Book One: Air. Besides I wouldn't be taking any advice from Mako, especially as long as he has Bud Bundy (David Faustino) as his voice actor. Bolin better start heading for the hills now that he has an enraged Eska hot on his heels. Maybe Varrick can slow her down by pooping out more money...

I'm going to give Civil Wars, Part 1 a 2.5 out of 5 while Civil Wars, Part 2 earns a 2.75 out of 5. 

Injustice: Gods Among Us - 1.06 Balance Patch Notes

I know it's a bit of a shock from you guys that I have finally posted a fighting game-oriented article after what seems like forever for some of you guys. Injustice: Gods Among Us recently received a huge balance update, so I figured players would like to know the full details concerning this update. Along with the update, players will receive General Zod's new Man of Steel costume skin FREE of charge, obviously inspired from recent film. From directly at the folks from Injustice website, here are the official patches that went live on October 1, 2013. While I haven't played the game since renting it shortly after the initial release to write my review on the game, these changes sound like it's going to make the game play a lot better on the competitive level a lot better. That should make things a bit more bearable on spectators as well, instead of yawning through countless Superman players spamming heat vision to victory.

Say what you will about NetherRealms, but holy hotcakes, these guys know how to keep their community pleased. They take all player feedback into consideration then put out all of this regular DLC content, plus regular balance changes. You ask Capcom or Namco Bandai for something like this and they expect you to get on your knees and beg while emptying out your wallets.

General Changes/Fixes

DLC Characters now in Archives – DLC Characters are now available in the Character Viewer located in the Archives.

Offline Restart Match - From the pause menu of an offline versus match, you can now instantly restart the match.

Online Instant Rematch Option - You now have the option to rematch instantly or to rematch and select new characters/background after an online player match.

Interactive Object Sound Cues – You now have the option to turn on sound cues that will notify the players when either is within range of an Interactive Object. This option can be found in the Gameplay Settings menu.

King of the Hill Challenges – There is now a default KOTH challenge assigned to you.

Arena Select – Starting Arena Level choice is now randomized as well when a 2nd player chooses to select a stage.

Building Meter - Slightly reduced the amount of meter gain on specials that can be canceled.

Meter Refill in Practice – The super meter is now set to REFILL in practice mode.

Wall Bounce Interactive Objects – Improved the hit box on 3d Wall Bounce Interactions so that they will hit within a combo regardless of stance switch.

Directional Hard Attacks
- Applying a Meter Burn to Directional Hard (Back + Hard or Forward + Hard) Attacks now inflicts 50% more damage.
- You now take 50% less damage when hit during the armored portion of a Meter Burned directional Hard Attack.

Meter Burning Interactive Objects – It now costs 2 bars of Meter to apply Meter Burn properties to Interactive Objects.

Transition Damage – Adjusted Transition Damage across all arenas so that they are consistent with each other.

Frame Data Corrections – Multiple Frame Data Corrections.

Throw Immunity – Completely removed throw immunity from all projectile attacks. You can now throw opponents while they are throwing projectiles, regardless of character.

Input Buffering in Advanced Controls - After Blocking in Advanced Controls, you can now buffer special moves without resetting to a neutral position on the controller.

Projectile Hit Pauses - Removed the hit pause/screenshake from several projectiles when they hit the walls of arenas.

Meter Burning Through Interactive Object Damage – Fixed an issue where some Interactive Objects were still inflicting splash damage after the opponent armored through them.

Resetting Metropolis APC Gunner in Practice – You can now properly reset the APC gunner in practice mode in the Metropolis Street.

Arena Changes

Metropolis – Rooftop – Flying WASPs respawn rate increased to 8-12 seconds (previously 4-6 seconds)

Insurgency – Command Center - Slightly reduced velocity and collision sphere for splash damage when the overhead television monitors are thrown by power characters

Insurgency – Luthor’s Lab – Slightly reduced velocity and collision sphere for splash damage when the hanging lights are thrown by power characters

Insurgency – Luthor’s Lab – Slightly reduced velocity and collision sphere for splash damage when Braniac’s head is thrown by power characters

Fortress of Solitude – Laboratory – The Ship swing no longer has invulnerable frames for some power characters.

Character Changes

Aquaman

- The cool down on the Water of Life (character power) has increased to 12 seconds (up from 9 seconds).

Ares

- Improved the hit box on the Divine Order (Medium, Medium) combo.
- It is no longer possible to interrupt his Annihilator super move after is has connected.
- You can now Meter Burn the Warp Transmission special move to improve the recovery time.
- By holding towards during the Front Warp Transmission, you will now teleport further away from your opponent.
- By holding away during the Behind Warp Transmission, you will now teleport away from your current position.

Bane

- Bane now takes 95%, 85%, 70% damage while in Venom Boost (character power) levels 1, 2, 3 respectively.
- Bane can now apply a Meter Burn to the Venom Uppercut when it misses the opponent or is blocked.
- During the Meter Burn Venom Uppercut, Bane no longer has extended armor after the move is complete.
- Improved hitbox on Infinite Crisis combo (Forward Medium, Down Hard) and it is now -8 on block (up from -32).

Batgirl

- The size of her hurt box was slightly increased, meaning she will be vulnerable to a wider array of attacks.
- The ducking Light attack can now be parried correctly.
- The Bat-Wheel can no longer be ducked by certain characters.

Batman

- Mechanical Bats (Character Power) regeneration has been increased to 9 seconds (up from 6 seconds).
- Increased recovery time for the Stay Down combo (Back + Medium, Hard) when it is blocked or misses.
- Straight Grapple can now be evaded/parried by projectile-counter special moves.

Black Adam

- Reduced duration of Orbs of Seth (Character Power) to 4.5 seconds and increased the cool down to 9 seconds (up from 7 seconds)
- Boot Stomp now has a block advantage of -21 (down from -15)
- Lightning Strike now only hits grounded opponents when performed outside of a combo.
- The Meter Burn version of the Lightning Strike is now -1 (down from +8)
- The Meter Burn version of Black Magic no longer conflicts with hard attack bounce/juggle limiting.
- Reduced the distance Black Adam covers when back-dashing
- Increased the duration of the back dash to 31 frames (up from 26)
- Increased the duration of the front dash to 18 frames (up from 16)
- Slightly increased the amount of damage scaling on combos.
- Fixed an issue where the Orbs of Seth were labeled UNBLOCKABLE during Practice mode when they hit Mid.
- Fixed an issue where Black Adam could stack two sets of the Orbs of Seth.
- Improved Hit Advantage on the Eye Of Horus combo (Back + Medium, Hard, Up, Medium)

Catwoman

- The Meter Burn version of the Cat Dash now has two hits of armor.
- Both the High and Low Feline Evade now have 1 start up frame (down from 2).

Cyborg

- Loosened the input requirements for his Grapple special moves when performed within a combo.
- The full activation time for the Repair Circuit (Character Power) health regeneration is now 2 seconds (down from 5 seconds) and regenerates double the amount of health.
- The cool down for the Repair Circuit is now 8 seconds (up from 3 seconds).
- Fixed an issue where you were unable to perform Cyborg’s Forward or Back Grapple from the down-back or down-forward position in Advanced Controls.

Deathstroke

- The Enhanced Reflexes (character power) activation time has been reduced to 60 frames (down from 85 frames), lasts 3 seconds (down from 5 seconds), and has a cool down of 6 seconds (up from 3 seconds).
- Bullets fired during the Enhanced Reflexes character power now perform less damage.
- The Eye for an Eye super move now has 9 additional frames of armor.

Doomsday

- The meter burn version of his Venom special move now has two hits of armor.
- If Doomsday is hit into a 3D wall bounce while his Doom to All (Character Power) is active, the Interactive Object is no longer rendered useless for the rest of the match.

Flash

- Improved the hit box on the Flying Uppercut special move.
- Slightly increased damage scaling.
- His crouching Medium attack now has a block advantage of -11 (down from +1) and has increased recovery frames when it misses.
- His Speed Zone super move now performs 34.5% damage (down from 38.5%)
- Fixed an issue that allowed Flash’s Flying Uppercut to pass through some characters without dealing any damage.
- Fixed an issue where interrupting the Time Loop (character power) would sometimes result in the background color staying corrupted.

Green Arrow

- Now correctly enters a crouching state when firing low arrows.
- The Stinger special move now has a frame advantage of -13 (up from -25) and can now be Meter Burned when blocked for frame advantage.

Green Lantern

- Removed a 2 frame OTG window after a Meter Burn version of the Lantern’s Might special move.

Harley Quinn

- The Single Shot (Down + Hard) now has a block advantage of -15 and results in a hard knockdown.
- The Take Aim (Back + Medium) attack has an improved hitbox.
- You can no longer interrupt the Mallet Bomb super move after it has connected.
- The Bag-O-Tricks now has an 8 second cool down period (up from 5 seconds).
- Aquaman can no longer use his Water of Life Character Power to escape the Mallet Bomb super move.

Hawkgirl

- The meter burn version of the Mace Charge will now autocorrect and force opponents to block in some instances where it could have previously been avoided by smaller characters.

Joker

- The Acid Blossom now consistently has a block advantage of +5 regardless of stance switch.
- The Crowbar now has a block advantage of -4 (up from -25) and has a better hit advantage when Meter Burned.
- The Joker’s Wild (character power) High Parry now has 1 startup frame (down from 2) and the Low Parry now has 2 startup frames (down from 3).

Killer Frost

- Successfully performing a Frostbite parry on an opponent’s armored attack will now remove the armor.

Lex Luthor

- The Lex Probes will now always put the victim in hit stun when hitting inside of a combo.
- Charging the Lance Blasts will now result in significantly increased damage when they connect with the opponent.
- Overall hit box adjustments to make combos more consistent.
- Aquaman can no longer use his Water of Life character power to escape Lex’s super move after it connects.

Lobo

- The Hook Charge special move now hits as an overhead, has an improved startup of 13 frames (down from 16), and has improved viability as a wakeup attack.
- The Meter Burn version of the Hook Charge now has 2 hits of armor.
- Now loads two rounds for his Nuclear Shells character power (up from 1).
- All Pump Shot blasts now have extended reach when Nuclear Shells are loaded.
- When a Nuclear Shell is loaded, the 2nd Meter Burn Pump Shot blast will have significantly increased damage.
- The Main Man super move now hits the opponent overhead.

Martian Manhunter

- The Downward Phase Assault now can now hit opponents who are higher in the air.
- The Light to the Light (Back+ Light, Hard) combo no longer results in a hard knockdown.
- Martian Manhunter now has less Frame Advantage after performing a Forward Throw.
- Martian Manhunter is now properly pushed out of the corner when performing throws.

Nightwing

- The last hit of Staff Spin when meter burned will now hit smaller characters.

Scorpion

- Corrected an issue where some combos were doubling their damage scaling.
- Adjusted the hit box on the Gravedigger (Medium, Up + Hard) combo to hit all crouching opponents.
- The Gravedigger (Medium, Up + Hard) combo now has a block advantage of -1 (down from +5).
- The Bloody Spear can now be evaded/parried by projectile-counter special moves.
- Fixed an issue where using the Bloody Spear vs Aquaman while in his Water of Life character power would result in Scorpion getting knocked down.
- Fixed an issue where Scorpion’s Teleport Punch would pass through opponents who are in a state where they cannot be repelled.

Shazam

- Increased the damage on the regular and Meter Burn versions of his Herculean Might and Achilles Clutch command grabs while also slightly improving the hit boxes.
- The Mighty Charge (Back + Medium, Hard) Combo now pops up to allow for juggle combos.
- Increased the damage output for both the Atlas Torpedo and the Bolt of Zeus.
- Increased the amount of block damage on his Hook Kick (Hard Attack).
- Solomon’s Judgment (Character Power) now has proper damage scaling.

Sinestro

- The Lost Will (Back + Light, Medium) combo now hits Mid.

Solomon Grundy

- The Pain Chain (Character Power) can no longer be parried.
- Increased the damage on both the regular and Meter Burn versions of Grundy’s Grave Rot Special Attack.

Superman

- The Meter Burn version of the Flying Punch now has 2 hits of armor.
- Increased the amount of damage scaling on some combos.
- The Kryptonian Smash Super Move now has 5 frames of startup (up from 2) and is now a Mid attack.
- The Ground and Air Heat Vision attacks now have additional recovery frames.
- Slight hit box adjustment to the Cross Swipe (Toward + Medium) attack.
- Increased the amount of damage scaling after using the Heat Zap special move.

Wonder Woman

- In Sword Stance, her Directional Hard attack is no longer able to be clashed.

Zatanna

- Activating Sargon’s Hat Stance (Character Power) no longer forces the end of a ground combo.
- Loosened the input requirements of her Teleport moves.
- You can now only cancel her Levitate twice during a ground combo.
- The Meter Burn version of her Fire Kiss can no longer be ducked by certain characters.
- Catwoman and Wonder Woman can no longer parry her Ground Magic special move (in Sargon’s Hat Stance) while standing.
- Reduced the start up frames of her ducking Medium attack to 8 (down from 10)
- Reduce the start up frames of her jumping Light attack to 6 (down from 8).
- The Master Puppet special move now works correctly online.
- Increased the size of the hitbox on the second hit of her Multi Kick special move so that some characters can no longer duck under it.
- Fixed an issue that allowed you to perform an infinite combo with Zatanna on larger characters.

Zod

- The Phantom Wraith (Character Power) Slash can no longer be parried.
- Phantom Wraith attacks now have proper damage scaling.
- Fixed an issue where missing an opponent with the Phantom Wraith grab would result in undesirable effects.
- The (Air) Zod Charge now has 6 startup frames (up from 1).
- The Low Punch (Down + Light) and I Always Win (down+light, Medium) combo no longer result in a hard knockdown.
- Improved the hit box on the Fallen Kryptonian (Toward + Medium, Light) combo.