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REVIEW -- Alita: Battle Angel (2019)



Alita: Battle Angel is a 2019 American cyberpunk action film based on Yukito Kishiro's manga series Gunnm, also known as Battle Angel Alita. It was directed by Robert Rodriguez, written by James Cameron and Laeta Kalogridis, and produced by Cameron and Jon Landau. Rosa Salazar stars as Alita, a cyborg, with supporting roles portrayed by Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Connelly, Mahershala Ali, Ed Skrein, Jackie Earle Haley and Keean Johnson.



Cast:


Rosa Salazar as Alita, the titular cyborg heroine, revealed to be three centuries old and last of her kind.
Christoph Waltz as Dr. Dyson Ido, a renowned scientist, Hunter-Warrior and Alita's caretaker.
Keean Johnson as Hugo, Alita's love interest who also teaches her to play a gladiator-style game called Motorball.
Mahershala Ali as Vector, an entrepreneur who rigs Motorball combat matches.
Jennifer Connelly as Chiren, Ido's ex-wife who was expelled with him and their daughter from the false utopia of Zalem and dreams of returning.
Ed Skrein as Zapan, a cyborg bounty hunter tasked with tracking down and killing Alita.
Jackie Earle Haley as Grewishka, a huge cyborg who works for Nova as his personal assassin, based on Grewcica from the Battle Angel OVA.
Jorge Lendeborg Jr. as Tanji, a friend of Hugo's.
Lana Condor as Koyomi, a friend of Hugo's.
Eiza González as Nyssiana, a cyborg assassin with a bounty on her head.
Idara Victor as Nurse Gerhad, Ido's aide.
Jeff Fahey as McTeague, a Hunter-Warrior who leads a pack of robotic dogs.
Rick Yune as Master Clive Lee, a Hunter-Warior who claims a record of over 200 kills.
Marko Zaror as Ajakutty, a Motorball player.
Elle LaMont as Screwhead, a female Hunter-Warrior.
Leonard Wu as Kinuba, a Motorball player.
Casper Van Dien as Amok

In uncredited roles, Edward Norton appears as Nova, a Zalem scientist who has the ability to transfer his consciousness into other people's bodies; Michelle Rodriguez appears as Gelda, a cyborg warrior from Mars who trained Alita; and Jai Courtney cameos as Jashugan, a Motorball Champion.



Plot: 


In 2563, a catastrophic war known as "The Fall" has left Earth devastated. While scouting the junkyard metropolis of Iron City, cyborg scientist Dr. Dyson Ido discovers a disembodied female cyborg with a fully intact human brain. Ido rebuilds the cyborg, who does not have any recollections of her past, and names her "Alita" after his deceased daughter.

Alita befriends Hugo, who dreams of moving to the wealthy sky city of Zalem. Hugo introduces her to the competitive sport of Motorball, a battle royale race wherein cyborgs fight to the death.

Alita discovers that Ido is a Hunter-Warrior when she follows him one night and they encounter three cyborg assassins led by Grewishka. When Ido is injured, Alita instinctively attacks the cyborgs, killing two of them and severely damaging Grewishka, who retreats underground. Despite Alita rediscovering her skill in the ancient martial art of "Panzer Kunst", Ido discourages her from becoming a Hunter-Warrior. The next day, Alita finds and brings home a Berserker body from an old downed ship outside the city. Ido refuses to install her in the body, fearing the consequences of her heart's full compatibility with it.

Alita ain't takin' no shit from some wannabe RoboCop looking cyborg.

Fed up with Ido, Alita registers herself as a Hunter-Warrior, then she and Hugo enter the Kansas Bar to ask other Hunter-Warriors in helping her take down Grewishka, but they refuse, as Grewishka is not on the wanted list. Suddenly, an upgraded Grewishka storms into the bar and challenges Alita to a rematch, revealing that he has been sent by his boss, Nova, to destroy her. Despite her courage and combat skills, Alita's body is sliced up by Grewishka's bladed fingers before she blinds him with her left arm, and Ido, Hugo, and another Hunter-Warrior force him to retreat. Ido transplants Alita in the Berserker body, which automatically interfaces with her system.

Having fallen in love with Hugo, Alita enters a Motorball tryout race as a means to send Hugo to Zalem. Ido discovers that the other contestants are Hunter-Warriors and wanted cyborgs hired by Vector, an entrepreneur working under Nova, to kill her. He warns Alita, and as the race begins, she destroys many of the contestants with her superior skills. Meanwhile, Hugo is being hunted by Zapan after he frames Hugo for murdering a cyborg. Hugo calls Alita for help and she leaves the Motorball race to rescue him. She finds Hugo just as Zapan arrives and reveals to her that Hugo has been attacking cyborgs and stealing their parts for Vector for use in his Motorball games. Knowing that Alita is in love with Hugo, Zapan mortally wounds him and tells Alita that Hunter-Warrior law dictates that she must either kill Hugo or let Zapan finish him off. Chiren, Ido's ex-wife and also a master cyborg engineer, manages to save Hugo by attaching his head to Alita's heart. Zapan attempts to stop Alita from leaving and she slices part of his face off with his prized sword, which she takes with her.

Ido transplants Hugo's head onto a cyborg body before telling Alita that Hugo's actions were based upon the false belief that he would be able to eventually buy his way into Zalem. Ido confides that this was a lie fabricated by Vector, and that citizens of Iron City cannot enter Zalem unless they become Motorball champion. Alita decides to confront Vector, who is being mind-controlled by Nova, a powerful Zalem scientist. Through Vector, Nova reveals to Alita that Chiren has been harvested for her organs and then orders Grewishka to kill her. Alita battles Grewishka again and finally kills him, then stabs Vector, telling Nova that he made the mistake of underestimating her.

Ido tells Alita that Hugo has fled and is desperately attempting to climb a factory tube towards Zalem. Alita pleads with Hugo to return with her, but a massive spiked defense ring set off by Nova shreds Hugo's body and throws him into the air. Leaping after him, Alita is unable to prevent Hugo from falling to his death, but not before he can thank her for changing him.

Months later, Alita is the star athlete of the Motorball tournament. As the crowd cheers, she points her sword towards Zalem while Nova watches her from above.



The Verdict:


I'm going to start off with this statement - I didn't NOT read the manga but I did watch the two episode Gunnm/Battle Angel OVA prior to seeing this in the theater. While I watched this in English dub on YouTube, I have linked the original Japanese dub with English subtitles below. No idea when YouTube's pesky algorithms will take this down though.



Visuals


Alita from both the OVA anime (left) and in the film (right).

Let's go ahead and address the elephant in the room and point out how "freaky" Alita's eyes are in this. It bothered me when I saw the initial trailers for this film, but I understand why this film went with this visual style in regard of paying homage/respect to the source material. Once the film got rolling along though, it didn't bother me at all to be honest.

Simply put, this movie is stunning to look at. I watched it in standard definition, but I would like to assume that the 3D showings would be described as "visual crack". I would expect that a lot of this world would look like the actors are standing in front of a green screen for most of production, but the visuals here are pulled off masterfully without a hitch.



Off-topic, but goddamn those Motorball sequences made me really want to see how a live-action version of IGPX (Immortal Grand Prix) would fair as a CGI-made film. I know, I know. Wishful thinking there when Toonami/Cartoon Network really never profited off of that series, despite how much of their own dough they put into helping create it...

Fans of both the manga and the OVA will be pleased that this film recreates a lot of key scenes from the source material in this film, down to the smallest detail. I'm going to discuss this more in-depth when I get to covering the film's narrative below, but there were points where I felt the film was so caught up in recreating these straight-from-the-source visuals to it's own detriment.

At the end of the day, all of these pretty visuals aren't going to mean jack shit if the story that binds it all together isn't worth a damn.


Narrative


Another elephant in the room that I'm going to address right off the bat is that this film splices and reorders a lot of content from the manga and two episode anime OVA while reordering those events to set up what seems to be a trilogy for this film. At the core, that's this film's biggest problem. The whole time I found myself in familiar territory with a lot of deja vu here since having watched the OVA the night prior while simultaneously wondering if I needed to read the manga for the stuff that was flying over my head. FYI I never read the manga (which is surprisingly still ongoing BTW) but after seeing this film makes me wish that I had.

I was fascinated to Alita's ties to the mysterious war that left their world in the state that it's in and the part that she played in it, but the film immediately throws it's first massive plot hole in that regard by saying those events were over 300 years ago. In that case, Alita's remains wouldn't have been at the top of the piles of trash, she would have been buried at least a few miles underground from all that have accumulated over time. Between that and the sheer convenience that she was able to stumble across the Berserker body that no one was able to access in that ship other than her - not to mention that if Alita was sitting around as spare parts for that long, then why not hasn't anyone ripped out her power source if it was so rare and valuable? You would think that would be the first thing that poachers and scavengers such as Ido would have stumbled across over the years.

I swear this scene was the definition of cringe to the tee...
The thing I've read complaints about on social media and in early reviews is that the romance/love story here between Alita and Hugo is laughably bad. Well, to be quite fair, it was ridiculous in the OVA as well. It wasn't as over the top as it was here, but that was the fault of the OVA trying to fit in as much as possible within two 25 minute episodes. Here, it came off with a lot of cringe in it's execution, especially with Alita literally about to rip out her power supply just to channel her affections to Hugo, a boy she barely even knows, but has gotten uncomfortably close to in a short amount of time. You would think with all of this battle prowess that she possesses that she would have been programmed with a bit of common sense too. I guess all of that knowledge on Panzer Kunst is taking up too much memory on her brain's hard drive (laughs)...

In all seriousness, I don't think Hugo and Alita's relationship wouldn't have been so cringe-worthy if it didn't feel so forced. He's there as one of the first guys she sees when she goes out with Ido for the first time out into the city. The OVA did this comically bad as well, having them meet each other for the first time as he's working on the roof of Ido's workshop. Hugo had some really bad lines to boot, even though some of them were ripped straight from the OVA in some occasions. I just wished they scratched out the line about Alita being the most human person that he's ever met. At that point, that's when and where I mentally checked out on their relationship in terms of caring. I get what the narrative was trying to do here and in the OVA, attempting to paint the picture of a redemption story for Hugo as he merely wants to move up and out of the slums of society and out of poverty by buying his way into Zalem, but that ends up being a pipe dream as he's being manipulated by Vector.

I was glad to see Mahershala Ali as Vector here, even though I still get mad thinking back how he got the shaft by being killed off in the first season of Luke Cage as Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes. He was the right actor to bring that character to life, even though he was a tool to Nova's ambitions. Vector isn't killed off so early in the manga, but he is met with a similar fate at the hands of Ido in the OVA. Jennifer Connelly ( who which most savvy Marvel Cinematic Universe fans may recognize her voice as "Karen" in Spider-Man: Homecoming) as Dr. Chiren works, but from how easily as forgettable as Chiren in the OVA, I'm surprised that she was cast in this adaptation since she's a character that doesn't exist in the manga to my knowledge. She is played up as Ido's bitter ex-wife and rival in their profession as scientists. Additionally, she was exiled from Zalem like Ido in the past and desperately longs to return to their homeland - by any means necessary. I felt that she was merely here just to point out the comparisons between Alita and their deceased daughter - hence why Ido fished her out of the wreckage and rebuilt her in the first place. I did feel sorry for her only getting what she wanted when Vector killed her and harvested her brain and vital organs for parts to be shipped to Zalem.

The surrogate father-daughter relationship works for me between Ido and Alita and came off a lot more believable than how forced Hugo and Alita's romance was. After arguing with Ido about using her capabilities and skills to become a Hunter-Warrior, Alita goes through her whole rebellious, teen angst phase until she's struck down by Grewishka. Ido naturally cares for Alita as if she's his own daughter that was killed in cold blood years prior. His motivations actually make sense - he refused to put Alita into the Berserker body since he felt that he was protecting her from her destructive past. He didn't want to lose her to senseless violence like so many to being a Hunter-Warrior. He merely became one to satisfy his own lust for revenge for what the cyborg that murdered his daughter did. When he wasn't satisfied in that kill, he only kept doing it for no one else would have to endure the same pain and loss that he went through with his own daughter's demise. Ido felt like he was protecting Alita from this fate when in reality he was denying her from having a choice to decide her own fate. That journey made for a much entertaining narrative than the romance between Hugo and Alita that was shoe-horned into this film just to add to the runtime. I'm sure that fans of the original OVA could see that they were leading to Hugo's iconic (if you can call it that) demise without a hitch and I don't know why the writers just didn't save it for the obvious sequel to this film. It's not like they aren't a stranger to picking and choosing what to include or reordering events, such as the whole Motorball thing that's not referenced in the manga right off the bat.

I really enjoyed the world building that they peppered throughout the film's runtime too with Alita's ties to the war that led to the events of "The Fall" and how she had connections to Zalem before Ido found her wasting away in that scrapyard. My only complaint is that exposition and revelations to Alita's past came up a little too convenient at times, such as when Hugo and his friends took Alita to the downed Martian spacecraft that just happened to have the Berserker body that she could interface with. Like I mentioned earlier, these flashbacks ultimately end up being to the film's detriment as it seems to be setting up for a much better film than this one that we're originally presented with. I found it ironic that James Cameron and Robert Rodriguez both mentioned in interviews that they weren't thinking about sequels as they were thinking of this film as a one shot/stand alone and I'm sitting here going there's no way from how much stuff that they brought to the table in this film and don't really elaborate nor explain in this film that is obviously setting up for a sequel or two. For Christ's sake, Alita doesn't even physically confront the true mastermind behind the attacks against her and her friends, Nova himself. Sure, they have that one conversation while he was "speaking" through Vector's body but that doesn't count in the least. The film ends with Alita still defiant as ever, looking up to Zalem as if to challenge Nova down the road. You have to be crazy to not realize that wasn't setting up a sequel in some fashion. One may point out that the OVA ends in the same manner after Ido and Alita have a funeral to say their goodbyes to the departed Chiren and Hugo, but in that case, there were no desires by Gunnm/Battle Angel's creator to do anything further with the anime nor to revisit it. In this scenario, it's obvious that Robert Rodriguez and especially James Cameron - both of which who are notorious for trilogies - want to make a franchise of sorts with this.

What's even more ironic? As this posting (2/25/18), Robert Rodriguez is already down as a lock in the short list of directors for the possible sequel to this film.



Watch It or Don't Bother?

This image is symbolic to how I felt about this film as a whole - lots of flashy action and visually stunning to behold, but ultimately falls short of being something truly special. 
This is a tough call to make on this one. Casuals and newcomers will love the visuals and action sequences, but may find themselves lost by the end of the film, especially how it's vague ending that sets up a possible trilogy. I think this film relies a little bit of too much prior knowledge/background going into it to understand what Robert Rodriguez was going for here but I think I would have lost for the most part if I didn't give myself a refresher viewing of the Gunnm/Battle Angel OVA prior to my viewing on Friday.

I want this film to do well in the box office though, only for we can see Robert Rodriguez and James Cameron continue their cinematic vision for this narrative. 

WWE Elimination Chamber (Feb. 17, 2019) -- Results & Afterthoughts



Elimination Chamber (2019) (also known as No Escape (2019) in Germany) was a professional wrestling pay-per-view event and WWE Network event produced by WWE for their Raw, SmackDown, and 205 Live brands. It took place on February 17, 2019, at the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas. It was the ninth event promoted under the Elimination Chamber chronology.

Seven matches were contested at the event, including one on the pre-show. In the main event, Daniel Bryan defeated AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Kofi Kingston, Randy Orton, and Jeff Hardy in an Elimination Chamber match to retain the WWE Championship. On the undercard, The Boss 'N' Hug Connection (Bayley and Sasha Banks) won a women's tag team Elimination Chamber match to become the inaugural holders of the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship, Finn Bálor defeated Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush in a 2-on-1 handicap match to win the Intercontinental Championship, and Ronda Rousey defeated Ruby Riott to retain the Raw Women's Championship.


Cruiserweight Championship -- Buddy Murphy (c) def. Akira Tozawa via pinfall to retain the title (Kickoff Show)

For once, I actually had the kick-off running on my TV, but I admittedly was half paying attention as I was preparing dinner. From what I did watch, I enjoyed, but I feel sorry for the 205 Live guys wrestling in front of a half-empty crowd while the arena was still piling up. I still feel like Tozawa was only in this position to show Hideo Itami what he missed out on after departing from the company last month. Don't forget WWE is petty enough to do shit like that.


Women's Tag Team Championship (Elimination Chamber) -- Boss 'N Hug Connection vs. Riott Squad vs. Nia Jax & Tamina vs. The IIconics vs. Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville vs. Naomi & Carmella

ORDER OF ENTRYORDER OF ELIMINATION
Boss 'N Hug Connection
Naomi & Carmella (IIconics)
Fire & Desire (Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville)
IIconics (Jax & Tamina)
Riott Squad
Riott Squad (Jax & Tamina 2)
The IIconics
Jax & Tamina (Boss 'N Hug)
Naomi & Carmella
Rose & Deville (Boss 'N Hug 2)
Nia Jax & Tamina
Winners: Boss 'N Hug Connection
If I'm perfectly honest, I didn't care for this match at all for the bulk of the first half of it.

(Whistles) Boy that was an UGLY execution there on that Tower of Doom spot. 

Fire & Desire definitely held their own in this match to say that they started the match with the Boss 'N Hug Connection, but I'll admit that I was impressed with the Riott Squad's performance over any other team in this match. Someone must have told Naomi and Carmella that they were going to be the first ones out of this match right before their entrances because damn they looked pissed throughout this match, especially while standing in their pods together. I can't blame WWE for that decision as that team made little to no sense anyway. If anything I thought they would have teamed up Naomi with the SmackDown! Women's Champion Asuka that WWE keeps forgetting about in relation to all of this Charlotte, Becky, Ronda stuff going on. It's not like they had R-Truth on television the last few weeks since winning the United States Championshp, so it wouldn't have been a massive loss for Carmella to not been in this match when they were going to shoehorn her in as an afterthought anyway.

Looked like Liv tried to do a MaTrish evasion and gave up halfway into that thought process.
When they went through majority of the entrants into this match and there weren't any eliminations when the countdown started for Nia and Tamina to enter, I figured they were saving all of the eliminations for when they came in here to clean house. WWE does the same thing in Royal Rumble matches where the powerhouses come in and clear out the ring once there's a ton of bodies in there for they can toss around like lawn furniture. It wasn't much different here. I'll be lying if I didn't admit that I enjoyed the IIconics' antics in this match, especially once Nia and Tamina got involved. Regardless of that, I don't see much novelty about keeping them around. I suppose WWE had to keep up their international signees quota up so that's the only reason the Australian chicks have a spot on the main roster over some of the MUCH more talented women still in NXT. Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan couldn't promo if their lives depended on it, but they impressed me a little with their tag team offense here. Liv is still botch-tastic as ever, but both of the IIconics are worse than her in my eyes. I hear podcasters talk about how bad they are all the time, but this is my first exposure of how bad they've gotten since being on the main roster because y'know, I don't watch RAW and SmackDown! weekly anymore. A part of me feels like a bulk of these women wouldn't even be employed if WWE weren't just stockpiling talent just for no one else can hire them.



SmackDown Tag Team Championship -- The Usos def. The Miz & Shane McMahon (c) via pinfall to win the titles

First off, congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Mizanin for It Baby #2 on the way. I would do the same thing if I was in Miz's shoes and married to Maryse.

Following that lukewarm crowning of the Women's Tag Team Championships, this was mediocre follow-up. I thought it was pretty embarrassing that Shane McMahon was showing up The Miz here for the bulk of the match, holding up his team together against the Usos. The Usos had a great showing here and actually got me into the match by the time it was over. Color me shocked to see the Usos recapture the gold after Jey Uso was arrested over the past weekend. Then again, the Usos contracts are up in April and this just might be WWE's way of keeping them happy for they won't jump ship to AEW afterwards.

Shane always has to hit that elbow on someone in these matches and I'm always asking myself how much longer can he keep doing this to himself when it's not a full-time member of the roster, especially when it looks like he's gassed within the first 5-10 minutes of action?


As for Miz and Shane, I think a WrestleMania match between them is in the cards. Congratulations are in order for Mr. and Mrs. Mizanin too with It Baby #2 on the way. Miz ain't playing around about keeping Maryse's baby-making oven cooking - not that I blame the guy...



Intercontinental Championship -- Finn Balor def. Bobby Lashley (c) & Lio Rush via pinfall to win the title


Goddamn this was a complete waste of time to watch. It's matches like this is why I don't watch Monday Night RAW. This is the definition of a bathroom break on the middle of this card.

Finn with this tired looking flip out of the ring that somehow kept Lashley down long enough for him to thrash Lio Rush some more before hitting his finish...

The only good thing to come out of this match is seeing Lashley beat the shit out of Lio Rush afterwards. Sadly, they already put the two back together on Monday Night RAW the next night as they faced the team of Finn Balor and the debuting Ricochet.


Raw Women's Championship -- Ronda Rousey (c) def. Ruby Riott via submission to retain the title


Complete squash here. That's all she wrote really. Ronda came out here cosplaying as Sonya Blade (Ronda's voicing her in the upcoming Mortal Kombat 11 video game FYI...) and promptly beat Ruby Riott in dominating fashion, despite a lot of bullshitting around at ringside during the opening moments of the match.



The biggest story of this match is what transpired afterwards with Becky Lynch limping through the crowd on crutches and hopping over the ringside barricade to confront both Ronda Rousey and Charlotte Flair (who was watching at ringside). Over the past weekend, WWE filmed an incident where Charlotte Flair re-injured Becky Lynch's ailing knee (the same one that Nia Jax targeted during the finish of the 2019 Women's Royal Rumble Match), so Becky was here to confront Charlotte about that while she was staring down with Ronda Rousey. Of course, things go south as Becky wails all over Charlotte with her crutches and invites Ronda Rousey to join in with her. Y'know as payback to what Charlotte did to her at Survivor Series. Instead, Becky attacks Ronda from behind and gives her an even more vicious assault than she gave Charlotte Flair. You can see that Ronda got hit all over her head here and I'm surprised she wasn't concussed from the blows Becky was landing here. By the end of it, Ronda was bleeding from the head and the arms. Holy crap they are going all in with this angle.

Becky nailed Ronda good there on the side of her head and she wasn't prepared to take that shot at all.

The only thing I can nit-pick here is that while Michael Cole is shouting on commentary about "Becky's not supposed to be here!!" that it took at least another five minutes before security came out to restrain her from assaulting Ronda and Charlotte further. It just came off really stupid in that aspect.



Baron Corbin def. Braun Strowman via pinfall (No Disqualification)


This was another complete waste of time here. I went into this match thinking it was going to be a squash but nope seems like WWE has given up all hope on Strowman. Corbin defeats him in dominating fashion as he's promptly driven through several tables with a Shield-style Triple Powerbomb, assisted by the unlikely of allies in Drew Galloway and Bobby Lashley. I don't like Lio Rush either, but how is working for Corbin in what seems like a rehash of that epic failure that was the League of Nations faction any sort of an upswing for Lashley's career?

Whether that was a stack of tables or an open dumpster, they aren't doing Strowman any favors here. IMO it should have been all of those guys ganging up on Corbin and dumping him into a dumpster fire where he belongs.

Outside of Kurt Angle putting over Galloway clean, it seems like WWE Creative doesn't know jackshit on what to do with Drew and Lashley. Lashley should be presented here like a monster and being groomed to be the guy to face Brock at some point - with or without the title. If they aren't going to do that at WrestleMania then when are they going to put some steam back on Lashley before people don't even care anymore? It saddens me to see so many of WWE's top tier talent on the main roster being reduced into mere afterthoughts. There's no excuse to have this many people on their roster(s) and not knowing what to do with them.


Lacey Evans catwalks

Yep, that's ALL she did too before the cameras faded out into another video package to promote the main event. I'm guessing Lacey Evans is going to be the new Emmalina since Mandy Rose has that Eva Marie gimmick down.


WWE Championship (Elimination Chamber) -- Daniel Bryan (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton vs. Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mustafa Ali Kofi Kingston

ORDER OF ENTRYORDER OF ELIMINATION
Daniel Bryan
Joe (Styles)
Samoa Joe
Hardy (Bryan)
Kofi Kingston
Styles (Orton)
AJ Styles
Orton (Kingston)
Jeff Hardy
Kingston (Bryan)
Randy Orton
Winner: Daniel Bryan
Bryana and Samoa Joe started things off, but things really didn't pick up until Kofi Kingston entered shortly thereafter. Following his massive upset over Bryan on the go-home edition of SmackDown!, Kofi has garnered a lot of steam - convincing a lot of people that he may do the impossible on this night and become the WWE Champion. If this was any other PPV before WrestleMania season, I would buy into that hype too, but no, I can't believe that here. Look, I get people want to see Kofi win the big one after roughly a decade or more within the 'E Machine. He was added into this match as an impromptu replacement for Mustafa Ali getting injured the week prior. Everything that they have been doing here and in this match was meant for him. Now if they gave Kofi his own program and actually built towards a match between him and Daniel Bryan with a good narrative behind it, then yeah I can buy into it. Otherwise, I'm not getting my hopes up. You don't just stop being a traveling goof overnight and become WWE Champion... well, unless you're Jinder Mahal, but that's a totally different story altogether there. 

I'm starting to feel like Samoa Joe coming to WWE was a waste of his talents - at least on the main roster. Joe would spit hot fire in his promos then come out to a massive dud of a match when it comes to putting his money where his mouth is. It's getting tiresome to hear him always talk a big game but never live up to his promises/claims. It's definitely not doing him any favors with those fans who aren't familiar with his work prior to coming to WWE or even NXT for that matter. 


Goddamn that RKO counter there to the Phenomenal Forearm was pretty sweet. If they don't have any big plans for Styles at WrestleMania then I wouldn't mind seeing him versus Randy Orton one on one. Doesn't even have to be for the title either. 


Seeing Jeff Hardy doing shit like this just makes me mad, knowing how his body is already in rough shape from the years of abuse in crazy matches and taking insane bumps. I don't know what possessed him to do that. I wonder what WWE is going to do with the Hardyz' contracts expiring within the next few days and they haven't renewed them yet? 


Speaking of stupid bumps, look at that shit by Kofi. He could have EASILY concussed Daniel Bryan and put him back on the shelf for good. On top of that, that landing could have been a lot worse as Joe narrowly helped him avoid landing on the ropes behind him. A 10+ year veteran being that careless blows my mind to do something like that without any qualms about his own safety or better yet, his own fellow competitors here. 

I remember that sounding like a gunshot live during the broadcast. Can't imagine how that sounded and looked like in the arena.
The shining moment/highlight of this match was the finale between Daniel Bryan and Kofi Kingston one-on-one. It's 2019 and by luck of the draw (namely Mustafa Ali's untimely injury) that we're getting a Kofi Kingston main event push. 

When Kofi splatted into the canvas here, that's when I KNEW he wasn't winning shit. I was with everyone else being fooled by that near-fall earlier though.
Sadly, it ultimately fell flat - just like like Kofi's diving splash attempt there - and Daniel Bryan hit the Knee Plus (or whatever they are calling that move nowadays) to retain. 

Closing Thoughts


Take a bow, Kofi. This night was your shining moment. 

By this posting, WWE already made the rematch between Daniel Bryan and Kofi Kingston for Fastlane next month, so we might see Kofi capture the WWE Championship either there or at WrestleMania. With the exception of this match, the tail end of the Women's Tag Team Championship Chamber Match, and the bit between Becky Lynch, Ronda Rousey, and Charlotte Flair, the majority of this show was a massive dud and complete waste of time. So much for gaining traction for the road to WrestleMania. If Fastlane is going to be another 2-3 match show, then I'm actually dreading that coming up next month. 

What happened to the years in days of old when we actually looked forward to the annual hype train and storylines that were built up to WrestleMania? Not this crap where it seems like they are throwing shit at the wall, week-in, week-out, every single week on a whim without a rhyme or reason. 

FIRST IMPRESSIONS -- Devil May Cry 5 (Demo)


The first demo for this game was exclusive to Xbox One following the Game Awards back in December, but Capcom released the second demo during the first week of February that was available to both Xbox One and PlayStation 4 users. This is when I finally had a chance to try my hand at this new entry into the Devil May Cry series.

At first glance, I wasn’t too thrilled about the disposable income in terms of changes to Nero’s Devil Bringer. I took a few days to reflect on it after multiple follow-up playthroughs of the demo, I found myself warming up to it more and more as I replayed the demo, much like I did to Platinum Games’ Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. There’s some things that I feel like need polish with it, like more options to keep them fresh in combat, such as being able to switch arms at will without sacrificing them, but even that is a minor gripe from me. Being able to "air taunt" (i.e. taunting in the air) is a welcome addition, that I'm positive that will be an asset at maintaining Style points at higher levels, especially if you want that SSStylish grade for your combos. That was something I really enjoyed doing in Devil May Cry 3 and Bayonetta to keep the Stylish meter going at times.


Watch Devil May Cry 5 Demo -- Testing OBS Settings (Attempt #002) from xionzeros on www.twitch.tv


I feel like these changes to the gameplay are an acquired taste. I don’t think that it wasn’t a great idea that Capcom would feature this demo with Nero (who already had a hit or miss reception from most Devil May Cry casual and die-hard fans) being the only playable character. They could have at least let us play as all three protagonists (Nero, Dante, and newcomer simply known as "V" who summons demons to aid him battle in the same vein as the primary protagonist from another Capcom-made title from the PlayStation 2 console era, Chaos Legion). in some fashion. I didn’t get to play the Xbox One exclusive demo from back in December, so this was my first exposure to this new Devil May Cry outside of watching gameplay videos and trailers. I guess they want to sell people onto this new “edgier” vibe to Nero’s character but he still comes off as a poor man’s knockoff of Dante’s natural charisma. Not to mention that Nero gives me more vibes of DmC (Devil May Cry)’s Dante than the one that we know and love from the original continuity.


I still don’t much care for Nero as a whole - both as a protagonist and playable character - but refreshing myself on the Exceed system from Devil May Cry 4 (thanks to a rather handy tutorial online above), really helped me enjoy the demo a lot more and got me more invested into the combat system presented in Devil May Cry 5. I still feel like this game is still Devil May Cry 4 at it’s core, just presented with a much better frame rate for everything that’s going on-screen, coupled with better visuals sported in that last-generation game. Even with the facelift that Devil May Cry 4 got with it’s Special Edition release on Xbox One and PlayStation 4, the visuals in that game cannot hold a candle to how amazing this game looks in action. You can tell that Capcom were definitely inspired by Ninja Theory’s DmC (Devil May Cry) reboot in some fashion in that regard. No matter how you felt about that game, I think that everyone can admit that it looked great visually.




It took me a while but I’m finally digging the “Devil Trigger” theme for the game’s soundtrack. I’ll be honest - I wasn’t crazy about it when the band came out during the Game Awards in December and lip sync’d their way through that performance but after finding a full version of the theme, I can admit I actually like it. We’ll see over time whether or not that it holds up to Combichrist’s tracks from DmC (Devil May Cry).



There's at least two unused buttons here for both consoles and I'm positive that I'm going to remap taunt to one of the triggers for my own personal preference. I still don't see why they couldn't have put in an option to allow you to swap Devil Bringers on the fly either. That just seems like an odd decision to make them disposable. I would be fine with that if there was a means to like cycle through them with the d-pad or something, especially if they are disposable and hard to come by. I know that's going to be a pain in the ass to micromanage in gameplay at higher difficulties for sure. That's why I was leaning towards just keeping one Devil Bringer I really liked and equipping 4 stocks of it.

Speaking of controls, the demo does a very poor job explaining things for newcomers. The Devil May Cry 5 official site is a great source of information though, which is why I'm pretty surprised this information isn't in the game along with an explanation of Nero's signature Exceed ability. At least they give you an idea of what each of the Devil Bringer arms are capable of too on that site. The developers confirmed that they took a page out of DmC (Devil May Cry)'s playbook in terms of having a training room of sorts to practice/tryout new moves and abilities before you purchase them to get a sense whether they are your cup of tea for your specific playstyle.

I thought it was pretty cool that Capcom took a page out of Platinum Games’ playbook and let your Reb Orbs carry over to subsequent playthroughs of the demo at your heart’s content to buy out all of the moves, abilities, and stock up on whatever Devil Bringers that you wanted to equip to suit your own Nero’s playstyle.


Closing Thoughts


I haven't purchased a new Devil May Cry title at launch since Devil May Cry 3: Special Edition dropped, so I doubt I'm going to pick this up on Day One. That being said, I wouldn't be opposed to a weekend Redbox rental to get it out of my system before it ends up dirt cheap in the bargain bin down the road.

30 Day Gaming Challenge -- All In ONE Day





Day 1 - Very first video game. 
Super Mario Bros. (NES)




Day 2 - Your favorite character. 
Travis Touchdown (No More Heroes)




Day 3 - A game that is underrated. 
Urban Reign (PS2)

No matter whether you class this game as a beat 'em up or a 3D arena brawler-style fighting game, it's underrated in the fact that not many people have played it or even know that this game exists. Definitely one of Namco's lesser known properties that deserves a sequel or at least a damn re-release on current gen hardware.




Day 4 - Your guilty pleasure game.
Rumble Roses (PS2) or Rumble Roses XX (Xbox 360)

I'm not going to make excuses... If you haven't read any of my wrestling articles or gotten the memo by now, but I love me some professional wrestling, especially when it comes to the ladies. Decades before WWE realized that they could make a profit off that aspect of the sport, Konami made this series, bringing the best gameplay from AKI's wrestling titles from the N64 gaming era and combining it with some lethal ladies to boot. C'mon, sex sells. Any idiot can see that. 







Day 5 - Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were). 
Squall Leonhart or Travis Touchdown (No More Heroes) 

Between my loner attitude and introverted nature, I can't help but identify with Squall a lot. With Travis' obsessions as all-round gaming geek and wrestling buff, I can't help but identify with Travis too. Both protagonists exist in worlds that I wouldn't mind living in to boot.



Day 6 - Most annoying character. 
Navi (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time; N64)





Day 7 - Favorite game couple. 
Too many to mention, but Trip and Monkey (Enslaved: Odyssey to the West), Elika and the nameless Prince (Prince of Persia, 2008 video game), Link and Midna (The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess), and although they aren't officially a couple in the literal sense but the pairing of Grimoire Weiss and Nier (NieR) comes to mind as well.












Day 8 - Best soundtrack.
Final Fantasy VIII, NieR (Gestalt/Replicant), Metal Gear Rising: Revengence, Horizon Zero Dawn, Axiom Verge















Day 9 - Saddest game scene.  
Agro falling off cliff in Shadow of the Colossus





Day 10 - Best gameplay.  
Horizon Zero Dawn





Day 11 - Gaming system of choice.
PlayStation 2 - gaming library is MASSIVE. Something there for everyone.






Day 12 - A game everyone should play. 
Shadow of the Colossus





Day 13 - A game you've played more than five times. 
Zone of the Enders: 2nd Runner, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Mega Man X, Super Punch-Out!!, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!, Zen: Intergalactic Ninja... too many to name.


Day 14 - Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper






Day 15 - Post a screenshot from the game you're playing right now.

Was streaming Ghostbusters: The Video Game on Xbox 360 last year for Halloween and I thought this was a glitch or unknown secret in the game with this haunted pair of pants following me around the Firehouse. Apparently, it's tied to one of the collectibles I found early into the game.

Arm Wrestling Match from one of the MANY Kulve Taroth Seiges I was doing over the last few months in Monster Hunter World


Day 16 - Game with the best cutscenes.
Asura's Wrath



Day 17 - Favorite antagonist.
Vergil (Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening/Devil May Cry 3 Special Edition)





Day 18 - Favorite protagonist. 
Ezio Auditore da Firenze

It's hard for me not to like Ezio. We follow his ENTIRE life from Assassin's Creed II to Revelations, until his untimely demise in the Assassin's Creed: Embers short film. I haven't caught up to the more recent Assassin's Creed outings, but Ezio has been the most likeable protagonist out of all of these Assassin ancestors that gamers have found themselves playing as. Don't get me wrong. There's some others that I've enjoyed in the series, but Ezio always stuck out for me as the best of the bunch.




Day 19 - Picture of a gaming setting that you wished you lived in.
Santa Destroy (No More Heroes)




Day 20 - Favorite genre.
Action/Adventure


Day 21 - Game with the best story.
The Last of Us.



I honestly had to think about that one for a LONG time, but The Last of Us had a really great story with the protagonist doing something in the end that you don't see very often in games like this. In that regard, I hold this narrative very high in terms of gaming narratives and to this day, I still feel like this game didn't need a sequel. Sadly, we're getting one anyway with The Last of Us Part II coming out, whenever Sony decides to stop tossing out breadcrumbs of footage of it in development.

Honorable mention goes to God of War (PS4) though. That ending, yo. I can't wait to see how they follow that up in the next game.


Day 22 - Game sequel that disappointed you.
Soul Calibur V

As I write this, Soul Calibur VI has released on consoles and PC as the latest outing in the series. I'm hesitant to pick it up after the sheer amount of disappointment I felt playing this outing. At least on the surface, that game isn't making the mistakes this game made right off the bat by stripping away a lot of the fan favorite fighters for mediocre and poor replacements with similar movesets. Not to mention, there were lackluster single player options outside a half-assed Story Mode campaign. The competitive tournament scene didn't stick with this game for long either. I remember buying this at launch and taking it back to GameStop like a day or two later out of disgust.

I honestly have the digital copy on my Xbox 360 as a reminder as the lowest point of this series that I loved so much.




Day 23 - Game you felt that had the best graphics or art style.
Remember Me, El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron, Asura's Wrath, Dragon Ball FighterZ











Day 24 - Favorite classic game. 
Metroid II: Return of Samus




Day 25 - A game you plan on playing'
Astral Chain (Switch)






Day 26 - Best voice acting. 
The Legacy of Kain series, Mass Effect trilogy, or the Castlevania: Lords of Shadow trilogy (yes there's three games in that timeline)



Day 27 - Most epic scene ever.
Asura vs. Augus





Day 28 - Favorite game developer.
Platinum Games or Ninja Theory

I honestly have the utmost confidence with their work. Well most of the time anyway...

Day 29 - A game you thought you wouldn't like but ended up loving.
Monster Hunter World

I blame my buddy, Sn0H, for my healthy obsession with this game over the past year. I gave it a shot in the dark and tried out the open beta last winter

Day 30 - Your favorite game of all-time. 
Mega Man X