WrestleMania 34 was the thirty-fourth annual WrestleMania professional wrestling pay-per-view (PPV) event and WWE Network event produced by WWE for their Raw and SmackDown brands. It took place on April 8, 2018, at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana.
· “Woken” Matt Hardy won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal on the WrestleMania 34 Kickoff pre-show
I had the Network feed on during this one but the thing with these big battle royals where they dump all of the guys who don't have anything else going on just to get a WM payday into this match is that you can barely see what's going on since it's such a damn clusterfuck until the final moments.
We did get the return of (Broken?) Bray Wyatt, who helped Matt Hardy win the match when it came down to Matt, Mojo Rawley and Baron Corbin. When I saw it was those three left, I was going, "Is it bad that I don't want ANY of these guys to win this?"
· Cedric Alexander defeated Mustafa Ali to become the new WWE Cruiserweight champion
Loved Mustafa Ali's entrance gear. Seemed like the next evolution of the gear that DJZ wears in Impact Wrestling to the ring on his matches. I was trying to pay attention to this live when it happened but I was getting a haircut and struggling to watch off of my phone. What I did see wasn't bad, but let's be honest here, Cedric's been groomed for this spot since before Enzo got the boot, so it wasn't a surprise that he got the win here.
Even though I don't watch 205 Live, I might tune in just to see how he fares in this role as I loved his run in ROH when he had Veda Scott in his corner. Wonder if he's gotten a personality to go with all of that in-ring charisma and talent in the ring. I hope they don't sleep on/neglect Ali either as his talents shouldn't be squandered either.
· Naomi eliminated Bayley to win the first-ever Women’s WrestleMania Battle Royal
I tried to pay attention to this one live, but other than seeing that only maybe 3 women out of all who were in this match were given actual entrances before walking out together as a big angry mob, I couldn't fathom how WWE could expect anyone to care going forward. To say that people made a big deal about changing the name (which I applaud them for because Moolah wasn't the best person to dedicate this match to AT ALL...) of this match, I'm not surprised that WWE treated it like the Miss WrestleMania Battle Royal from a couple of years back that Santino, or rather Santina, won in complete disrespect to the women at the time (past and present). It was just like the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal where there was a bit too much going on. I did chuckle at everyone ganging up on Carmella first then later the NXT and Mae Young Classic former entrants all ganging up against the opposition.
· Seth Rollins pinned The Miz to win the Intercontinental Championship in a triple-threat match that included Finn Balor
A great way to "officially" kick off this event. I was a little bummed out that they gave Rollins the win here instead of keeping the Intercontinental title on The Miz. After that recognition from Jeff Jarrett during the Hall of Fame, you would think that WWE would keep stock in the guy. I hope this means that they are going to continue to elevate Miz up the ladder if they are regulating Rollins to take the ball at this point. Then again, I could be wrong. They could easily put the title back on Miz and allow him to break the record at Backlash or whenever he plans on cashing in on his rematch opportunity before he winds up getting drafted elsewhere.
I had to read comments online to explain both Rollins and Balor's entrances to understand the references. I'm fine with Balor doing something to promote love around the world, that's completely fine, but I feel like they missed the boat on giving him a Demon entrance at 'Mania this year to say he missed it last year due to his injury. Rollins' entrance was supposedly "white-walker" inspired from Game of Thrones. I wouldn't have never guessed that from never watching that show nor reading the books.
· Charlotte successfully defended the SmackDown women’s championship over Asuka, ending her undefeated streak
In my honest opinion, the stupidest booking decision of the evening. No, I don't have anything against Charlotte on a personal level. I honestly thought this was a stellar bout between both women as this was the best I've seen Charlotte perform since coming onto the main roster. I don't get what was up with her looking like she borrowed Mandy Rose's ring gear, but I did dig that she came out like she was Ragyo Kiryuin from Kill la Kill at the first part of her entrance though.
My issue with Charlotte ending Asuka's streak is "what now?" Great, Charlotte has another accolade to her resume, but that leaves her without anyone else left to challenge/threaten her title reign. They could have easily had Charlotte drop the title here and make her go heel (which is her forte anyway) and have a clear heel/face dynamic for the title on SmackDown! going forward. I mean, seriously, they have to kill that whole thing with Riott Squad eventually anyway. Sooner more than later would be the best plan of action.
· Jinder Mahal won the United States championship in a four-way match over Randy Orton, Rusev and Bobby Roode
Didn't care, didn't watch the bulk of this one... This was my first bathroom break/food run of the night. I did see the multiple RKOs at one point that led to the finish, but whatever. Didn't care when this feud started a month or two ago, didn't care now.
What's even worse is that people probably would have been MUCH more accepting of Jinder Mahal as United States Champion if he won that like a year or so ago instead of magically becoming the WWE Champion for what felt like an eternity last year. This booking decision was too late in my eyes.
· Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle were victorious over Stephanie McMahon and Triple H when Rousey tapped out McMahon
I was thoroughly impressed with Rousey's first outing here, but at the same time, I found myself rolling my eyes by the time the match was over from how many times they were acting like Stephanie McMahon was fighting off being in Rousey's signature armbar submission. I get it - they want to sell and build up to the moment where Rousey broke through her defenses and forced her to submit with the narrative, but it just looks bad when Stephanie isn't even a full-time wrestler on the active roster to see her fight Rousey like an "equal" here.
After thinking about it, this is arguably the best match on the entire show though. That's not saying much given everything else on this show that was either just as good as match or failed to live up to the hype surrounding it. In either case, WWE should pat themselves on the back for their gamble on Rousey paying off here along with everyone involved in this match (along with the agents who helped put it together) crafting a narrative that no one isn't going to forget anytime soon. My only question is where does Rousey go from here being a FULL-TIME talent?
· The Bludgeon Brothers won the SmackDown tag titles in a three-way match victory over the New Day and Usos
I hate to say it, but this was pretty much a squash match. They could have done this title change on SmackDown! Live last week. All three of these teams deserved more than this, especially the Usos to say that this was their first main show bout out of the entire decade of their time in this company.
· The Undertaker defeated John Cena
I was honestly surprised that Taker showed up in the old school attire again. I thought he was done with that gimmick. That being said, Taker looked like he stepped out of a time machine. I'll let that Running Big Boot that didn't even connect with Cena and the fact that it looked like he was hobbling down to the ring at first both slide as this was a definitely better outing for him in comparison to that mess with Roman last year. I just didn't expect to see Taker come out and have Cena job to him that quick.
I'm curious on what's going to be the fallout from this. All of that hype and mystery for what was going to happen and we got this as the payoff? Seems like there has to be more to this storyline before it's over to me.
· Daniel Bryan forced Sami Zayn to tap, winning his tag-team match with Shane McMahon against Zayn and Kevin Owens
The first thing that annoyed me right off the bat was ANOTHER fucking apron bump. Like what is WWE's deal? The guy just came back from a two-hiatus on the shelf where we all thought he was retired for good and they are already taking his health for granted. Sometimes I really don't know what this company is thinking when it comes to their talent's well-being and health.
One thing I hope everyone took note of is that Bryan's "attempting" to reduce the amount of bumps he takes in a match. When he was doing his signature running dropkicks in the corner, I noticed that Bryan was grabbing onto the ropes to break his fall and cushion the landings in a sense.
· Nia Jax defeated Alexa Bliss to win the Raw women’s title
Nia Jax immediately turning to Mickie James and disposing of her like yesterday's garbage reminded me of the feud between Awesome Kong and Angelina Love in TNA/Impact Wrestling where Kong "killed" every member of the Beautiful People faction that was bullying/trash-talking her to the point where Angelina was forced to face her one-on-one with her back against the wall.
Even though I was happy to see Nia finally pick up the win and the title, I would be lying if I didn't admit that this match was VERY sloppy. It wouldn't hurt for one of the agents to direct Nia to start watching some of Awesome Kong's work in TNA if they really want to establish her as a force to be reckoned with in terms of being their resident female powerhouse.
To all of the people on social media saying that feud was iconic as AJ Lee/Kaitlyn and Trish Stratus/Lita just because Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax are friends in real life need to get their eyes checked. That match was seriously lacking to say it was so far up on the card.
· AJ Styles defeated Shinsuke Nakamura to successfully defend the WWE title
This was the match that I was looking forward to the ENTIRE night and it kinda fell flat. As someone who stayed up to 6AM to watch their Wrestle Kingdom match live when it happened in New Japan Pro Wrestling, this was a tad underwhelming in comparison. I loved the Kinshasa (it's still Bomaye to me dammit...) reversal to the Styles Clash for the finish. I was stunned that was the finish. In a card where almost every other match has about 10-20 near-falls (especially on last night's show), that caught me off guard there.
With Nakamura's heel turn after the match, I have seen fans online mention that he is channeling his CHAOS days from New Japan, but a part of me feels like Vince McMahon just wants an excuse for booking another evil foreigner heel gimmick.
· Braun Strowman and a child from the crowd named Nicholas defeated The Bar to win the Raw tag-team titles
Watching this live, I thought this was next level stupid and I still do in retrospect. Look, I get it. It was a cool moment for the kid (who ended up being the son of one of the WWE referees anyway...), but to say that WWE has all of this talent on payroll that they stolen from roughly every major promotion and the indie scene as a whole that they couldn't just choose just ONE person to be Strowman's partner is very telling in what they think of the drawing power (or rather the faith in their roster PERIOD) of their roster.
For those who saw the RAW after 'Mania, this ended up being a wash as Strowman and the kid ended up vacating the titles the next night anyway. I was happy we got a hilarious segment out of it, but still a damn shame to see the tag team division come down to this.
It drives me nuts that they have guys like The Revival, Chad Gable, Shelton Benjamin, Luke Gallows, and Karl Anderson and haven't done beans with them in terms of tag team wrestling when anyone with functioning eyes know that they are capable of 5 star matches, but they haven't been given the opportunity to do that much in this company.
Samoa Joe was cleared and ready to bounce back from his injury. Same for Big Cass. They could have had Elias in that spot instead of jobbing to Cena in a squash. Just so many options here, but they went for the one where they pulled shit out of their ass from out of left field.
· Brock Lesnar retained the Universal Championship with a victory over Roman Reigns
If Vince McMahon had foresight, he would have seen this trainwreck coming and avoided it, but nope. As a result, Roman, Brock, and Vince ended up shitting the bed completely on this one.
The crowd showered them with chants of "THIS IS AWFUL!" after Roman Reigns manages to kick out of not one or two F-5's but damn FIVE before Brock hit the sixth one to end it. That wasn't before Brock took his gloves off and busted open Reigns the hard way just like how he did Randy Orton last year. It blows my mind that Vince thought that people weren't going to call bullshit on this match, especially Reigns kicking out of multiple F-5's when we've seen the biggest stars on the roster - including Braun Strowman, Samoa Joe, and even AJ freakin' Styles going down off merely just ONE F-5 over the past year. Reigns somehow manages to take SIX like it's a damn video game.
I honestly couldn't help but laugh watching this live at this absurdity. WWE actually thought that people were going to sit by and 'accept' this as their main event of the evening. It's not like everything beforehand blew this show out of the water. The card was acceptable - better than last year's, but that's not saying much. Let's just face it - the Roman Reigns experiment failed. Just move on and go with someone else, Vince. It's not that hard. At this point, I have a suspicion that WWE plans on allowing Brock to keep the title until roughly Summerslam and break CM Punk's record-breaking title reign - if he hasn't done so already. The only person he hasn't beaten of name value on the main roster is Bobby Lashley - who returned on RAW the night after WrestleMania.
