WWE Summerslam 2014 -- Results & Afterthoughts

Better late than never, eh, folks? I've been sitting on this article for about a week now and even after watching the event twice, I'm pretty indifferent about my thoughts.

Back at WWF Summerslam 1999, The Undertaker said that "Summerslam would be forever known as Armageddon" and he wasn't lying either. WWE Summerslam 2014 will be forever known as the night Brock Lesnar unleashed Armageddon upon John Cena's poor soul.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship - Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) def. John Cena (c)

This wasn't even a match, this was a complete utter destruction. Brock Lesnar walked into John Cena's house, took a shit on his dinner plate and left him to eat his shit. To say that the internet wrestling community whines and complains that Cena NEVER puts anyone over then they should be able to completely shut up now. That beating he took in Summerslam's main event made Lesnar look like a million bucks.

Going into this match, I was worried that Cena would somehow retain the title(s) and WWE would tarnish Lesnar's win of ending the legendary streak of The Undertaker. I could not be any happier to be wrong on a prediction. My only concern now is where does WWE go from here? Brock Lesnar definitely can't maintain his part-time status and has to show up at bit more frequently now that he's the new champion.

If I were in charge of WWE's creative team, I would book Brock Lesnar similar to Samoa Joe's NWA-TNA run, where he was undefeated nor pinned for the bulk of his career until Kurt Angle joined TNA in 2006. In my opinion, Brock Lesnar should remain undefeated until WrestleMania 31, but I have no idea who he should face at this rate. He would cripple Sting. The Rock already got beat in 2002, so it would be no different now and end up being a repeat of Cena's recent failure. Roman Reigns is FAR too green to push into that position right now. Hell no to Triple H again... The Undertaker could work if he wanted to TRY to get his dignity back, but no one knows if he's done for good or not.

Stephanie McMahon def. Brie Bella

To say Stephanie McMahon hasn't wrestled in well over a decade, she was giving Brie Bella a run for her money in this match. Stephanie definitely deserved those "You still got it!" chants throughout this match. The only thing I would critique her in this match would be about her selling and overall pacing in this match. There were times where it seemed like Stephanie was racing to get to the finish instead of allowing herself (and Brie) to catch their breath and sell each other's offense.

The biggest point to take home here was obviously Nikki Bella's heel turn. I was more shocked that Triple H stayed down and sold her dropkick to the floor than the actual moment where Nikki turned on Brie.

Roman Reigns def. Randy Orton

Roman Reigns def. Randy OrtonLet's be real here - Orton carried Reigns from start to the finish of this match.

This match should have been lower on the card as it definitely didn't deserve to be right before the main event. If it were up to me, I would have had either the United States Championship or Tag Team Championships up in an impromptu title match since they weren't booked on tonight's card. That was bizarre to say that Summerslam is one of WWE's "Big Four" PPVs (Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, Summerslam, and Survivor Series).

I get that Roman Reigns is popular and the ladies LOVE him (just like Ambrose and Rollins), but from a technical standpoint, he does NOT need to be propelled into the main event picture YET. I could say the same about Ambrose and Rollins, but that's a topic for another day. Roman Reigns' winning a main event title would set him up for failure down the road, just like Sheamus before him. Every "big" guy in wrestling doesn't need to have an instant drive to the top like Brock Lesnar or Batista. This stuff takes damn time. Roman Reigns could benefit from being groomed slowly to the top with a few mid-card feuds before ascending to that level.

Lumberjack Match - Seth Rollins def. Dean Ambrose

I'm going to warrant a lot of heat for saying this, but this match wasn't the match of the night like everyone acting like it was over my Twitter feed during the live event. Sure, the diving cross body into all of the lumberjacks at ringside and the brawl at the erupted in the ring during the match's final moments were cool, but I honestly wasn't impressed here. If they wanted to do all of that, WWE should have booked this as a Street Fight to begin with. Oh wait, they did something like that on RAW the following night...

After that vicious beating that Ambrose took from Rollins to end RAW, I'm guessing that's Ambrose's write-off TV for he can go film that movie he was reportedly signed up for. That guy is going to have an even stronger following behind him whenever he returns. As for Rollins, I suggest he either hang onto that Money in the Bank briefcase or just flush that shit down the toilet as there's no way in hell he is going to win the title from Brock Lesnar at this stage of the game.

Divas Championship Match - Paige def. AJ Lee (c)

80% of this match I can't even call an actual wrestling match. This bout was littered with sexual euphemisms to toss more fuel into the fire of this borderline lesbian crush angle. It's strangely familiar to what Madison Rayne and Brittany were doing in Impact Wrestling a few months ago before they nixed it. I doubt this is going to go extreme into the gutter like fans of both Divas would like, but I personally would like to see them focus more on the wrestling aspect of this narrative.

Seriously, to say that Paige has been portrayed as bad-ass on NXT then to come to the main roster where she's running away from a girl who's shorter than her is just downright silly, especially to say that she knocked her ass out the night before. Yes, I'm referring to Paige and AJ's altercation on RAW the night after Summerslam.

Speaking of that night, I hope the involvement of Natalya in this feud leads to a triple threat match. Unlike the bulk of Diva fans, I'm not settling for less here. This is supposed to be the pinnacle of the Divas division in terms of feuds at the moment and we're getting a mediocre narrative AND matches. So you can't put the blame completely on WWE Creative here, folks. AJ Lee and Paige's efforts in the ring have been lukewarm at best and I know that both of these women are capable of MUCH better performances than this.

Flag Match - Rusev (w/ Lana) def. Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Coulter)

To be quite honest, I was rather surprised to see Jack Swagger lose this match, especially how much babyface appeal he had going into this match. Rusev manages to sneak by with a win, just barely but I think the loss here hurt Swagger more than WWE thought it would. He has been struggling to bounce back with momentum again, especially after the absence of Zeb Coulter during the aftermath of this event. Meanwhile, Rusev continues to look strong despite the confusing booking of adversaries for him as of late - first it seemed like Mark Henry was going to take him on next, but Swagger was tossed back into the mix on the recent Monday Night RAW broadcast. C'mon WWE Creative, get with the program...

By the way, I'll quote my best friend and say that it has to be a damn SIN for Lana's dresses to be THAT damn tight. Not that I'm complaining... Looking at Lana has been healthy for me to stay focused on this feud...

Bray Wyatt def. Chris Jericho

This match was pretty much a repeat of their match at Battleground, which wasn't bad to begin with, combined with a little of Bray's flair from his bouts from Daniel Bryan earlier this year. I felt this was the win that Bray Wyatt should have gotten at Battleground last month while Jericho should have won here to make things even. 

I know I should be more excited about this feud, but when Jericho is involved in something nowadays, you know he's just putting over new talent. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but at the same time, you know it's just passing the torch and not really offering anything else.

Intercontinental Championship Match - Dolph Ziggler def. The Miz (c) 

After being robbed of the gold during Battleground's Battle Royal, it was only deserving that Ziggler pick up the win here tonight. I would be sick of this feud by now if the matches themselves have been pure money. No pun intended for the Moneymaker.

I could feel that burn all the way over here... 

Too bad Maryse hasn't been around for this feud because these three have been killing it on their tweets back and forth on social media.

Pre-Show: Rob Van Dam def. Cesaro

It's a damn shame that these two had an excellent match here on the fucking PRE-SHOW instead of the event's actual match card for the evening. Even though they had a #1 Contender's Match on Monday Night RAW this week, I wouldn't mind seeing them both challenge Sheamus for the United States Championship to keep things interesting going into Night of Champions.

Closing Thoughts:

WWE Summerslam 2014 was pretty mediocre in my eyes, especially since this is supposed to be one of the Big Four Pay-Per-Views of the year AND one of the events to help convince people to renew their WWE Network subscriptions. It was definitely better than WWE Battleground last month, but that's not saying much.

I'm just hoping that WWE knocks it out of the ballpark come in time for Night of Champions or I'm going to be watching the stream, going "Meh..." for the third month in a row for a WWE-themed Pay-Per-View event. C'mon WWE, just because you launched the Network that's no excuse to start giving us $9.99 shows instead of $59.99 value that they should be worth each month.