Why Am I A Gamer?

In light of the tragedies spread around the country with between the recent Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre in Newtown, Connecticut and Taft Union High School shooting in California, I have witnessed the media point several fingers at video games for the forces deemed responsible for driving an individual to these extreme public displays of violence.

While I could easily go on a rant which could be considered the most) to blame in the wake of these tragedies - the absence of proper parenting, lack of friends and loved ones who did nothing despite the warning signs exhibited by these troubled individuals, the lack of gun control in the household, how mental health in this country is an issue that needs to be addressed in this country, or the influence of the media in general on the current generations' minds, I choose to take the other option that stands before me.

Across several message boards and gaming websites such as Facebook, Twitter, Kotaku, IGN, GameFAQs and even Caws.ws, I have seen my fellow gamers express their distaste on this matter as well. Some of whom even vowing to drop the overly violent genres -- namely first person shooters -- entirely from their gaming repertoire out of disgust from what has happened in reality. To be honest, I really don't blame them.

Over the last few weeks, I really put some time into wondering why I play the particular games that I enjoy the most and why do I even take pride in being a gamer at all.

This won't be the only time that I give my readers a look into my past, but I'm going to give you guys a scope of what video games do for me.

I have many friends. Some I hold dear and consider to be as close as family no matter how far apart we are, others have known me for years, barely exchanging words here and there over the roughly three decades of my existence on this planet, but I would not have it any other way. I cherish my friends - small or large; religious or atheist; straight, gay or lesbian - I don't judge. A friend is a friend to me. I haven't taken for granted for a moment that I have a loving family with siblings and parents who will support me in anything I decide to put my mind to in life. Not many people in this world have that novelty nowadays.

Despite all that I have going positively in terms of friends and family, I have always felt incomplete.

A far back as I can remember, video games have managed to fill that void within me.

Megaman X & Zero

When my older siblings left me alone at home with my parents during my budding adolescent years, when they took off onto their own adventures into adulthood and college, I called Mega Man X and Zero my friends, and followed Cloud Strife and the members of AVALANCHE as they embarked on their journeys to vanquish the evil Sigma and stop Sephiroth and JENOVA's plots to destroy the planet (Final Fantasy VII). I followed in demon-hunter Dante's footsteps, pretending to be 'cool' and stylish as we disposed of every demon in our way. I followed Samus Aran, Link, and Alucard, assisting them (in exploring) countless labyrinths and facing several horrors - all to save the galaxy from the menace of Count Dracula, the evil Ganon, and the Metroids. I even managed to topple thirteen colossi with The Wanderer for the slightest hope that we would be able to revive his deceased love (Shadow of the Colossus).

I know it sounds crazy, but video games, much like my interests in comics and anime, became my escape from reality. But what is "escapism"?

"Escapism is a way of refocusing one’s attention on pleasant or enjoyable things, as opposed to the hard realities of the everyday world. It can be a healthy means for not getting completely depressed by reality, or in extreme forms, can result in obsessive behaviors that make people completely ignore reality to their detriment.
Healthy escapism is probably one of the first practices of the developing human species. Who can evaluate such things as cave paintings or the first works of artisans without suggesting that people sometimes needed to focus on things that were not mundane or entirely useful? Little usefulness might be derived from painting a cave painting, or from looking at one. There may have been some practical impetus behind artistic intent, such as teaching people how to slay a mammoth. In reality, however, the focus on something other than the mundane was likely a relief.
Modern escapism in a healthy sense could include reading a favorite book, watching a sports program, watching “mindless” television, or playing a few hours of Tetris. There is very little harm in the occasional escape from reality in such forms." (-- via WiseGeek.com)

When real life offers me a bowl of shit on a platter, I prefer to sit back, relax, and escape into another realm for a while. Escapism is a healthy means of coping with reality, especially when it hurts us the most.

Even though I don't agree with your choice, I still salute
you, my friend.

Note: Due to the privacy of this matter, I'm not going to disclose full details on this situation.

Back when I was in high school, I was close friends with an individual who I shared a lot of common interests with. Then, one day out of nowhere, he killed himself. For a long time, I questioned what I could have done to save him or how I should have noticed something earlier that something was not right about him. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't do that to my friends and family. I just could not do that to the ones I care about no matter how much hell life presents me with. As a result, I found myself immersed even deeper into the multiple/different worlds that video games provide.

When I drew the urge to punch someone, I escaped within the genre of fighting and wrestling games.

When I drew the urge to just want to leave this place or setting that I have lived for so many years, but lacked the means to do so, I escaped within the genres of action, adventure, and RPG games.

We've all had this moment in one
way or another...

I won't lie. I got caught up in that urge to kill and shoot people while playing first-person shooters with friends and colleagues in the dorms in college while Halo and GoldenEye were in their full bloom of popularity. I then migrated into TimeSplitters 2 for a while, then Gears of War, but I lost my interest in this genre by the time Call of Duty became the new 'cool' thing to do among your friends. I cannot speak for every individual who plays those games, but if it makes you happy then keep on doing it. When you begin to hurt people in reality, that's when it becomes a problem.

For me, my fascination dropped from the genre from a lack of identification. In films, "identification" works like this:

"Most Hollywood films work through this mode of identification. They give us a character — someone safe, someone we like, someone we trust — and then throw us into the mayhem. We identify with someone in the film, as if the film were a representation of real action and this character was our tour guide.
It sounds almost obvious, doesn’t it? Of course a film is a representation; of course we identify with a character. What else could happen? But identification is just one mode, one architecture, of the cinematic experience. There is real life; there is the camera that records; there is the projector and screen that plays it back." (-- via Thought Catalog)

Identification works the same way in video games. In the first-person shooters, you only see your avatar's hands for 90% of the gaming experience. The remaining 10% is outside of your control from cut scenes where you watch your avatar do things on his own and you are promptly removed from your escapist mindset as the cut scene reminds the player that this is a game and you are not your avatar. If I can't identify with my avatar in any way, then the game fails to draw me in and my time is wasted attempting to escape reality when I could do so by easier means in different genres.

Like with film over the past century, video games have evolved from a mere child's past time to a full-blown artistic media outlet, with some titles featuring compelling stories and melodramas that could compete with any Hollywood feature film today. These interactive odysseys are a spectacle to behold and it's those experiences that are why I find myself so passionate about continuing to have gaming as part of my life. Some of those experiences are even better when you have someone to share them with cooperatively or via discussion as gaming offers some unique adventures that you cannot find in any other corner of today's media.

That's why we have the means to "escape," Squall.

That is why I am a gamer. With my controller in hand, I have exclusive access to an infinite amount of worlds outside of our own. Taking pleasure in the enjoyment of these fantasy realms is not a crime - not partaking in these fruits are. I will continue to navigate these infinite realms as long as my imagination will allow me to do so. Maybe our world is fucked up beyond reasoning in reality, but you can be damn sure I can easily find the means to visit one that's more up my alley.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings, guys and gals.