The First RAW of 2013: Did It Rock or Was It Full of Shit?

First things first, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! Secondly, this won't be a full show write-up as I'm just going to discuss points of my personal points of interest on this broadcast.

"AJ rubbing up against Ziggler and Big E?" Yeah, I'm not
touching that one either Cena, LOL. 

Monday Night RAW starts off with John Cena in typical babyface fashion. He is shortly interrupted by the arrival of Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee, and Big E Langston. This is was a VERY entertaining exchange, with Cena being on a roll on the comedy for once.

Of course the exchange had to end with an invitation for "Ziggy" (as how AJ referred DZ as) to get into the ring but not before Big E surprised the WWE Universe by speaking for the first time. I just personally hope he doesn't speak again ANYTIME soon. He still looks like Bobby Lashley cosplaying as Nation of Domination Ron Simmons and D'Lo Brown.

As the reigning NXT Champion, he hasn't done anything to generate any interest from me on the main roster. If Big E keeps this up then I see his career going down the same route as Big Zeke and Bobby Lashley after his initial push fizzles out and then finds himself fading into obscurity.

The match that followed afterwards was the typical fashion that we have come to expect from Ziggy and Cena's encounters for the last few months, ending with multiple officials being taken out before Big E secured the win for Ziggy. I cannot express enough my distaste for making Ziggler look so weak before he even cashes in the Money in the Bank briefcase. At this rate, it's a guarantee that Big E will do all of the dirty work with Ziggler being a mere placeholder with the World Heavyweight Championship, rather a solid competitor.

Divas Championship Match - Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

WWE continues to disappoint me with the direction of how they are taking with the WWE Divas. 2013 is already off to bad start. Eve Torres is the reigning champion and she manages to put up little to no offense against Kaitlyn who hits her with roughly every signature and finisher in her arsenal before Eve wisely flees the ring to safety.

The finish/ending was rather weak as well. Kaitlyn gets the win - cool, but Eve looked VERY weak in comparison. She already took that beating throughout that entire bout and didn't bother to fight back with a second wind. Instead, she uses the opportunity from the break in Kim Possible's offense to grab her title and haul ass like a coward through the crowd. One would think that the GM or whoever is calling himself or herself the authority figure on RAW, that they would restart the match and order her to take her fine ass back to that damn ring. Brain cells are an endangered species on mainstream wrestling nowadays.

Team Hell No! vs. Rhodes Scholars 

Dazzler? Really?

Most of the match was spent by commentary talking about Cody's absurd mustache that looks like pubic hair to me and Daniel Bryan's new alias on Twitter as "Dazzler". Umm, apparently no one told Daniel that Dazzler was one of the lamest members of the X-Men, who shopped in the same stores as Jem and the Holograms. D-Bry, this is NOT who you want to be, buddy. Seriously, what is up with the Marvel Comics' references in WWE as of late? First, the Shield now this Dazzler crap? What's next, Cody Rhodes is going to start calling himself the Archangel?

A win from the Rhodes Scholars might guarantee them another title opportunity in the near future, as Rhodes hit Bryan with the Cross Rhodes to pick up the victory while Kane was busy dealing with Sandow at ringside.

I get that  WWE is milking the comedy of the union of Team Hell No! for as long as they can, but I really hope 2013 is the year where we see WWE's Tag Team Division to the next level. We haven't seen the division doing well over the last few years, but I'm optimistic this is the time for that. They have the talent, now they just have to use them properly instead of using the division as a mediocre comedy outlet.

3MB's Heath Slater vs. Randy Orton

This one went on a LOT longer than I would have liked. Regardless, we got to see Orton deliver RKOs to the entire band.

I still say WWE needs to give TNA royalties on recycling the Rock N Rave Infection...

Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett vs. Santino Marella (w/ Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat) - Non-Title Match

Squash match. Moving on...

I will say this. I get that WWE is trying to get this dude over with the "Bare Knuckle Brawler" gimmick as the guy is one of the few students of The Undertaker, but don't get me wrong but he's missing that "it" factor to propel him into main event status. Having him squashing jobbers on a regular basis since taking the title from the lackluster previous IC champion, Kofi Kingston, isn't helping either. All I ask is that this dude does something memorable with his title run that merit my attention. Otherwise, send him back down to NXT to reinvent himself and hone his talents.

United States Championship Match - Antonio Cesaro vs. The Great Khali

This was merely a repeat performance of their match on Main Event last Wednesday. Yawn...

C'mon, WWE give Cesaro a REAL challenge. And I'm not talking about The Miz since they literally trying to shove him down our throats as a legit babyface. He can talk the talk, but no, toss him Barrett's way.

I dunno, maybe the returning Christian? Or maybe any of those up and coming guys on NXT... Kassius Ohno anyone? Just a suggestion.

3MB's Jinder Mahal vs. Sheamus

Another squash... Moving on...

WWE Championship Match - CM Punk vs. Ryback - TLC Match

CM Punk is medically cleared to compete and Ryback is ready to compete in his attire inspired by his role models Grape Ape, Grimace from McDonald's and the Incredible Hulk. Mullet not included.

A typical variety of TLC match that any modern day WWE fan can enjoy but won't be surprised in the least. Of course, The Shield would deliver the buzzkill of this match, interfering and literally handing the end result to CM Punk. No offense to Ambrose, Rollins, and Reigns but with the way that WWE Creative is handling this angle, they should just stop bullshitting and attach these guys to CM Punk. Their brand of 'justice' looking like they are the heels of WWE's henchmen. I got the perfect merchandise for them for WWEShopzone too (see right).

Monster... Nerd? Team Hell No! has to get their regular therapy check up next week on RAW? Okay, whatever. No doubt that should be worth a few shits and giggles.

Kofi Kingston vs. World Heavyweight Champion The Big Show

Wow... ANOTHER squash match. The Big Show drops him with a single WMD shot right out of the gate.

This isn't looking good for Kofi's career. After that stale run as Intercontinental Champion and losing the title to Wade Barrett, it seems like WWE has lost faith in his ability as champion. He's another candidate who needs to be dropped back to NXT to spend some time to re-invent himself. Kofi should be main event material by now instead of the average chicken fodder. He needs to consider the direction of his career with WrestleMania right around the corner. If he doesn't change things up, he's going to find himself continue to lose left and right just like Jack Swagger and JTG last year.

I have been a fan of The Big Show for years and on one hand I'm glad to see The Big Show with a credible title reign in this stage of his aging career, with his bouts with Sheamus have been some of the best matches he has put on in years. His upcoming defense against Alberto Del Rio is going to be coin toss though, as WWE doesn't seem to know what to do with ADR. During the week of Christmas, ADR was randomly slapped back into the role of a heel before being launched back into the role of a babyface as he came to Ricardo's defense last week on RAW. Let's just hope Alberto Del Rio can prove himself to be a worthy competitor like Sheamus can stand in The Big Show's way to truly challenge the World's Largest Athlete before WWE decides to take the title off of him.

CM Punk's Pipebomb vs. The Rock's Return to RAW

CM Punk starts things off with reminding everyone why he is so successful. To say people praises his initial pipebomb from the sheer amounts of truth that were said, this one has to be his best work by far, with CM Punk expressing the one simple truth that many so-called wrestling fans don't get even up to this day. You can be the best talker, the best grappler, but if you can't get over with the fans/audience then that means nothing.

Enter The Rock. He reminds CM Punk that he has a lot to worry about come Royal Rumble when they step into the ring. Rock brings his usual charm and flair to the table but CM Punk doesn't waver at all in his resolve. CM Punk fires back that he is the Best in the World and it doesn't matter when or where The Rock or any other washed up has-been comes out of retirement from Hollywood or sitting at home, the end result will be the same - he will win and still be the WWE Champion.

The Rock ends their verbal exchange with his prediction for Royal Rumble - saying that he will send CM Punk back to the rock bottom of WWE literally and ends Monday Night RAW with a devastating Rock Bottom.

The Final Verdict?

The show started off on a hilarious note, with John Cena getting his recycled routine out of the way early on the show and we didn't have to see him the rest of the night afterwards.

Sadly, the meat of tonight's broadcast was full of mediocre and lackluster matches that only served as filler to  both the WWE Championship Match between CM Punk and Ryback and the anticipation of the return of The Rock at the end of the broadcast.

I don't understand this. Week in, week out, WWE struggles to deliver on quality matches on a weekly basis when they have the talent to deliver. Instead, WWE focuses on delivering comedy more than actual wrestling.

Onto The Rock and CM Punk's exchange of words. I love The Rock as much as the next person when it comes to him talking on the microphone, but I would have be a fool to deny that CM Punk won this battle tonight. CM Punk buried him before his music even hit honestly. At this rate, this is going to be bigger verbal burial than what John Cena was giving him during the build-up to WrestleMania last year.

Don't get me wrong. The Rock had a few funny shots in there, but it's going to take more than cookie-puss to beat the Best in the World on the microphone, Dwayne.

The final verdict? The ending segment rocked but the rest of the show? Not so much.